My Blog

Is this an anxiety attack that when you go to sleep at night and in the middle a deep sleep you start gasping for air?  I do wake myself up.  If it is then I have been having those anxiety attacks for awhile now. I would scream to wake myself up back in the 80s and 90s.  If it is, then I have been having anxiety and panic attack for a long time.  

Well.... people thought I was a sweet girl.  The kids at the old school Wilbanks Elementary school,  (now BISD office).  thought that I was pretty weird.  They said that I weird too--especially this kid named Paul Beaumont.   I would like to look at it like they were jealous but really, they didn't want to be me.  They didn't want to be known as the quiet girl, who couldn't physically talk, who couldn't do anything and who couldn't get the words out.  So they said that I was rude. Once those kids said that I didn't have any teeth but that was not true.  When I got a little older and was in the 9th grade those kids at Westbrook 9th kids at that school said that would go all the way on a first date and they said at Central 9th that I bit someone's sister.  Those were also not true either.  I couldn't date anyone because I physically couldn't talk.  

Below is my Journal prompt and a reply that I asked my viewers opinion on.  What do you think?  Do you think that I may have been traumatized by the selective mutism?  I believe that my aunt Tanya back in the 80s would yell and scream at her own kids and at her sister's kids and sometimes at me and my sister. That really really scared me.  Especially after I was diagnosed with selective mutism when I was 4.  I wonder if that would be trauma?  I hated when people would yell, scream and fight with each other.  It was traumatizing?   All of this just popped into my head with my dad's side of the family.  Every thanksgiving we would go over there to Houston and spend the night or day.  One weekend me and my sister and our parent's went over there to Houston and when we got back home, there were so many ant bites around our ankles where our socks were.  I just remembered that part.  Well I may have selective mutism, but I do he...

I lost one pound today. I used the law of attraction to lose one pound. I said that I am mainly to lose one pound a week. I will make up one affirmation to say every day to lose weight.  "I will lose one pound every week until lose 50 pounds." Affirmations do work. You just have to say it everyday.  I got scared when my doctor told me that my A1C was 5.8 and I got scared.  So I barreled down on the WW program and cut out sugar and all fat---except for avocados.  I would rather eat one whole avocado for 8 points then have it go brown in the refrigerator before I can eat the half.  That is my story and I'm sticking to it.  And another thing, I wouldn't want to eat just half a banana only to let it go brown in the refrigerator.  I would rather eat the whole banana plus a banana is a power food 0 points.   Journaling also helps with weight loss.  I am totally not sure how it helps with weight loss.  But what I think is when you find you...

I believe that anxiety and stress can contribute to high blood sugar levels.  I don't know how it can contibute to it--but what I do know is that meditation and exercise lowers blood sugar levels.  No one has told me this.  I just put two and two together and kaboom!   I will be writing more later.

I do high intensity workouts and still got prediabetes. My family has history of diabetes. My grandfather had diabetes and passed away from it. My grandfather passed away before I was born. He passed away on July 4th and I was born in January that next year. My grandmother had diabetes. Now my aunt Lisa has diabetes. Yeah, I think I can reverse it by diet and more exercise---more high intensity exercise. And I have cut the sugar and fat out. This does not make any sense to me whatsoever! Let's see.... I have belly fat. I have an anxiety disorder called selective mutism and I'm 51 and in perimenopause. Everything has to pop up at once like it did when I was 5. That's not fair! I said a prayer to god to not let me get diabetes. I have a question. Are people with severe anxiety disorders like selective mutism are more likely to get diabetes? Does stress and anxiety cause high blood sugar? I have cut out sugar and fat and now more meditation and relaxation te...

  Get to know yourself again . We have to know ourselves to know what kinds of boundaries we need. This step can be a little scary, especially if we have a deep seated belief that it is unsafe to be ourselves. We lose touch with ourselves and assume that being ourselves is “wrong.” You might want to do some journaling on this subject. I wrote about that in another blog post. Basically, you want to write about what makes you “you.” What are your likes, desires, and strengths? What direction are you going? What are your hopes, values, and dreams? My likes? I have a lot of likes that people said that I have. I love all animals. I love to make jewelry if my three fingers thumb, index finger, middle finger and part of the ring finger can stop being numb. My desires? The desires that I have are if selective mutism lets me do that sort of thing.... my desire to act and dance. Why? Maybe I could lose weight by dancing. My mom will probably say, "oh just dance in your room. It's ...