Monday August 26, 2024 | Anger and or Anxiety Attack?

I just spend the last two hours having an anger attack and being angry at myself for getting selective mutism.  I cried for the whole two hours.  I swear.  I was angry at myself and I'm blaming myself for getting selective mutism.  Now I am wondering if  when I got SM was trauma or abuse?  But I don't doubt it that Robert Young probably did something to me because he was an asshole and everyone knew it!  Becky Young was a family friend and Robert Young was her husband.  Ugh! My blood pressure going up.  It only goes up because the anxiety goes up doesn't it or no?  I was always told that when I ate or drank something with salt in it my blood pressure and blood sugar goes up.   When I was 3 years old, I heard Robert Young saying that he had high blood pressure and that he got it from eating too many foods or drinks with salt in them.  So I had spent years trying to avoid salt and it didn't work just because I had heard what Robert said back when I was three. I swear!  See? Three year olds do hear things what other people say especially three year old who have selective mutism or just about to be diagnosed with selective mutism.  I believe that I had the symptoms of selective mutism since I was two but I had to listen to the adults around me.  It was the late 70's and I was quiet and withdrawn by the time I was two years old.  It got real bad when I was four years old and starting preschool when I stopped talking to family members.  If my family sees this an tell that this never happen, I'm about to get aggressive!  They were not in a three year olds body so they do not know how I felt anxious at times.  I do know that everyone was once a three year old but they can not get inside a three old's head and say that they feel fine and okay when I was feeling a bit nervous.  I'm just speaking up for that girl that was once a three year old that was me.  The best way I know how! 

I should also mention that this blog is about me getting angry over the stupidest stuff which is uncalled for!  I was immature in this blog!  

Monday August 26, 2024 | how to learn how to be an adult when you have special needs?

 My god this is alot to do when you have special needs. Ugh!   I got this from Copilot.

how to learn how to be an adult when you have special needs?

Copilot

Sent by Copilot:

Learning to be an adult when you have special needs involves developing life skills tailored to your unique abilities and challenges. Here are some steps and resources that can help:

1. Identify Key Life Skills

Focus on essential life skills that promote independence and self-sufficiency. These include:

• Communication and Social Skills: Effective communication is crucial for self-advocacy and building relationships¹.
• Daily Living Skills: Mastering tasks like cooking, cleaning, and personal hygiene is fundamental¹.
• Financial Literacy: Understanding how to manage money, budget, and save is important for financial independence¹.
• Time Management and Organization: Learning to plan and organize your day helps in managing responsibilities¹.
• Health and Wellness: Maintaining physical and mental health through regular exercise, healthy eating, and stress management¹.

2. Use Specialized Resources

There are many resources designed to help individuals with special needs develop these skills:

• Interactive Learning Tools: Websites like Adulting on the Spectrum offer step-by-step life skills worksheets and video tutorials².
• Community Programs: Look for local programs that provide life skills training and support for adults with special needs³.

3. Practice Self-Advocacy

Learning to advocate for yourself is crucial. This involves:

• Understanding Your Rights: Know your rights and the resources available to you.
• Communicating Your Needs: Clearly express your needs and preferences to others.

4. Seek Support Networks

Building a support network can provide emotional and practical assistance:

• Family and Friends: Lean on your loved ones for support and guidance.
• Support Groups: Join groups where you can share experiences and learn from others facing similar challenges.

5. Set Realistic Goals

Break down your goals into manageable steps and celebrate your progress along the way. This helps in maintaining motivation and building confidence.

6. Utilize Technology

There are many apps and tools designed to assist with daily tasks, time management, and communication. Explore options that can help you stay organized and independent.

7. Engage in Continuous Learning

Keep learning and adapting. Life skills development is an ongoing process, and it’s important to stay open to new experiences and opportunities.

Remember, everyone’s journey is unique, and it’s okay to seek help and take things at your own pace. 🌟

Is there a specific area you’d like more detailed advice on?

Monday August 26, 2024 | My night mare

I had a night mare of my mom falling in a pool and my sister was already in the pool. And Jason? don't say I was trying rid them because I care about my mom and sister! Jason, you ass! I am begining to think that Jason is toxic.    Here is an intepretation of the night mare that lead to me waking up screaming at 5:30 am.  What would your interpretation of this night mare be?  Would it really be a sign of codependency?  Well was the water brown and murky or blue?  Could it be in between brown and murky and blue?  So the water was a light brown to light blue and that is my final anxious answer.  

I was still afraid of that night mare and laid awake.  So I set an alarm for two hours and I got up around 8am.  And the day was Sunday into Monday morning August 26 when the night mare was.  Just because it says down there it could be a sign of codependency doesn't mean it is a sign of codependency.  Am I right? But I shouldn't be looking anything up on google, copilot or even asking Alexa.  They are all bullshit when it comes to issues that scare the shit out anyone.  But if it is codependency, it would be a way to rid of his ass so I can focas on getting better.  Unless codependency is a part of life just like peri/menopause.  

And just because I have a stupid night mare, doesn't mean I have some sort of disability or illness.  I am right on that one because I have listened to other people so much that it got into my head. It's a good thing.  Looking things up on Google and Copilot or asking Alexa is not good thing at all because the internet lies and tries to scare the shit out of you!!!  This is most of why people say that I am immature all the time because I look things up.  I look things up because I love to read.  If someone can give me a name of author, I can try to get the ebook and read her stuff so I won't be tempted to look random crap online to read besides Facebook and Facebook is shit!  

From Google:

"Dreaming of someone falling can evoke feelings of shame and helplessness, especially if you were unable to save them. This could indicate relationship tension or that you're trying to help someone but are unable to. It could also be a sign of codependency if you feel like you're spending too much mental energy trying to save someone in a relationship. 

Dreaming of drowning can also indicate emotional turmoil or repressed emotions. However, it can also be a sign of rebirth. 

Some say that water in dreams symbolizes the unconscious, as well as life, death, rebirth, and renewal. The color of the water can also have different interpretations: 

• Brown and murky: May reflect emotional difficulty 
• Dark blue: May indicate deep unconscious emotions 

Dreaming of being overwhelmed by water may be your psyche's way of processing overwhelming emotions."