Tuesday August 26, 2025 | I don't have long to live

Okay. I went to the doctor and they had me get a second blood test.  My doctor didn't say what it was.  She just refered me to another doctor which that appointment is in October.  My mind is overthinking this.  That anxiety is through the roof now.  I want out of this house now!  Read below is why.  

When I was hanging my clothes in my closet today I notice this huge black spot on the wall in the closet.  Now why would I write on the wall of my closet?  Tell me that! Why?  It wasn't there before hurricane Rita or hurricane Ike.  It must have appeared there when I was moved over there in the apartment.  Now I see why TJ took the money and ran!  Think about it.  There was this big huge black spot on the wall upstairs.  I have no idea what this spot is or even how it got there.  Somehow I will get blamed for this black spot getting on the wall.  :'(  

It could be from that big black spot on the wall, I don't even know what this big black spot is on the wall.  Or it could be from my unhealthy diet.  Probably a little bit of both I guess.   They just don't want to come up here and even look at it because they think that I drew on the wall or something back in 2014 whenever I was getting angry.  Oh besides the big black spot on the wall that I don't know what it even is and my unhealthy diet, it could contribute to anger issues that I have had in the past.    

I can't clean that spot.  But anyhow, they will make me clean it anyways because this part of the house is my area and it's probably my dirt.  God, I'm such a slob!  Why did I let my area get so bad?  How am I going to clean it without getting sicker?  Okay, it's not as bad as I think it's going to be.  It is just that my mind is going on over drive thinking about it.  

If I sit here and think about it long enough, I would be able to come up with an answer to why I let this house get so bad.  There is no sense in getting mad.  I think I did this to myself.  This is all my fault!!!