Friday, March 31, 2023

Friday March 31, 2023 | If I could change anything right now, what would it be?

I am going to make this up as I go.  If I could change my life I could maybe not have selective mutism. But would I still be stuck at home unable to move due to my anger issues?  I don't know.  I don't think that I would be able to move out and people would still think that I am looking for positive attention. I just want attention---either positive or negative. It really doesn't matter. I really want positive attention and don't really need anyone taking advantage of me.  I am really naive and gullible right now.  I will believe all that people say about me and my body.  My one question is was AJ doing just that, or not really?  

I know codependency has a lot of symptoms and it is more than just one person who takes care of everyone else.  Do I have codependency in a way that I depend on the answers that people give me? Do you see the "depend" in codependency?  That is what I mean when I could maybe have codependency.  I find myself always asking people on Facebook like "do I have a sense of humor" or  "If I need permission from my parents to do anything like move into an apartment?" Not right now though. I have to help my dad and his double knee surgery. 

Honestly, I don't think it's my computer making my shoulder and arm hurt.  I honestly think it's either allergies or my weight.  But it could be a rotator cuff up in my shoulder. That's google said.  lol I am popping two Tylenol every day that I think about it.  Some days I just want to curse and cry!  Like saying #sonofabitch.  I just feel like my arm is going to fall off right out of the socket it hurts so bad.  Just when I find a comfortable spot for my arm/shoulder, it starts hurting again.  I can never get it comfortable enough for it to stop hurting.     

Friday March 31, 2023 | What does my ideal day look like?

Okay. I'm about to make something up. Just know that.  

My day starts with meditation for 5 minutes when I get up. Then I will get a cup of coffee and have two or three cups.  I will then take walk/run for about 30 minutes.  Then I will come back have breakfast and take a shower. Then I will by then need something from the store. It's always something.  Then I come back do a 5-minute meditation and then do a journal prompt.  Well this doesn't sound very exciting but at least I am living with this.  

Featured Post

Saturday September 20, 2025 | What does success mean to you?

My success is very important to me and it means more to me than people give me credit for.  It is important for me to get a job no.  What I ...