Friday March 31, 2023 | If I could change anything right now, what would it be?

I am going to make this up as I go.  If I could change my life I could maybe not have selective mutism. But would I still be stuck at home unable to move due to my anger issues?  I don't know.  I don't think that I would be able to move out and people would still think that I am looking for positive attention. I just want attention---either positive or negative. It really doesn't matter. I really want positive attention and don't really need anyone taking advantage of me.  I am really naive and gullible right now.  I will believe all that people say about me and my body.  My one question is was AJ doing just that, or not really?  

I know codependency has a lot of symptoms and it is more than just one person who takes care of everyone else.  Do I have codependency in a way that I depend on the answers that people give me? Do you see the "depend" in codependency?  That is what I mean when I could maybe have codependency.  I find myself always asking people on Facebook like "do I have a sense of humor" or  "If I need permission from my parents to do anything like move into an apartment?" Not right now though. I have to help my dad and his double knee surgery. 

Honestly, I don't think it's my computer making my shoulder and arm hurt.  I honestly think it's either allergies or my weight.  But it could be a rotator cuff up in my shoulder. That's google said.  lol I am popping two Tylenol every day that I think about it.  Some days I just want to curse and cry!  Like saying #sonofabitch.  I just feel like my arm is going to fall off right out of the socket it hurts so bad.  Just when I find a comfortable spot for my arm/shoulder, it starts hurting again.  I can never get it comfortable enough for it to stop hurting.