Friday May 19, 2023 | Just remember

My sunflowers and vase dropped on the side of the refrigerator and it shattered all over the floor.  The flowers fell on the extension cord and unplugged everything. It did not unplug the fridge.   I guess when I was doing my tapping number, it fell beside the fridge when I didn't know I was doing that. Let me just demonstrate that tapping. lol!  Well, my dog got scared.   

When we move outta here and someone sees that plug outlet, there will be lots of negative thoughts.  The thoughts about when people ask me what happened and I am unable to tell what happened and then leave stuff out because I forgot to tell something when someone else tells the story.  But I was the only one up here when that thing fell.  But people will still make things up as to what happened.  but I am still unable to tell the story because I am in tears because of the plug outlet got damaged because my sunflowers fell on it. Well, that is the way things go.  Things happen.  Things break.  Life happens.  Somehow I'm going to get blamed for this!!!  :'(  

Saturday May 20, 2023

So how can I explain clearly how that plug outlet got broken to where it makes more sense to other people? 

Friday May 19, 2023 | Amygdala and not making any sense

Nothing makes me more anxious than when someone walks up and starts talking to me.  Oh man, that was really challenging.  Someone was driving in the parking lot at H.E.B. and asked me for money to get some food.  At first, I couldn't understand them at all then Mom piped up and said no. Tell them no 'mam.  Coming from the southeast I was brought up with people trying to teach me to say Yes, mam or Yes, sir.    I didn't I always felt not right saying that.  I always felt like doing my own thing.  Like marching to the beat of my own drum.  Back to the HEB parking lot.  I couldn't say anything because something in that amygdala said to me and it was coming in all at once and all jumbled up and it made it look like the people in the car were not making any sense. So because of that auditory processing, I couldn't hear what she was saying to me because everything was coming in at once.  In short, she made me really anxious.  That is okay. I'm just figuring out what helps my auditory processing.  Turning on the captions really does help. When I read books, I like to read them out loud.  Plus it helps the selective mutism in the long run when I read it out loud.  The bottom line is that God thought I was strong enough to handle my auditory processing and selective mutism on top of that.