Thursday August 29, 2024 | I am always told that I can't afford it | I want to be sure I can be able to live independently

I've been told that I can't afford to live in an apartment. My parents think I spend too much money (and I do) and won't be able to live within my means. They don't fully understand my selective mutism and auditory processing issues. If they don't understand, what makes me think an apartment manager will? I'm starting to understand why they keep saying I can't afford to live in an apartment. I'm not sure what my mom is talking about when she says I can't afford to live in an apartment. If they say I can't afford it, then there is certainly nothing else I can do about that.  

If I am not autistic, then I certainly don't understand selective mutism fully either because selective mutism and autism might go hand in hand.  If I am autistic then I certainly do not show it!  I think I hide autism whenever I look at my aunt and sister and see how to act as my aunt is 7 years older than me and my sister is 5 years older than me.  Now do you see why I feel this way?  

Thursday August 29, 2024 | My nightmare | Dreams are just unfinished business that happens during the day

I woke up from a disturbing dream.  This couple was on their way to the courthouse to do a little business and they tried to turn on Willis Street.  I guess they never saw another car coming.  The people in the other car were beat up.  Dad was the only one who didn't see it or even heard mom say that there was accident at the end of the street and he thought I was getting angry as usual for no reason at all which was so unfair to me.  And here mom was getting upset that there was an accident.  Well, they do what they know to do at the time with what knowlege they have and that's all.  And? on top of that there was a storm coming and I had to turn off the a/c for some reason in my dream and I think it turned out that I was really having a hot flash and I couldn't figure out how to get cool and my toes were frozen little blocks of ice cubes.  

Okay. That was the nightmare.  That just didn't seem fair to me that dad thought I was angry for no reason.  Oh when I woke up, I had realized that there was really car accident on the intersection of highway 105.