My Blog

I’m not going to spend it. I’ll just put it in the bank and save it until the next payday. Why? I’m not sure. I don’t have any money left, so why not just spend it and blow it all? 

  Let's start when I was about 2 years old.  Did I speak?  Did I speak to family members or cousins?  I remember my mom telling me that I spoke to my uncle at two years old.  I said, "are you comfortable?"  I did speak in a 2 year old voice.  As most two years olds tend to be I didn't think that I pronounced words right.  Okay, If I was diagnosed with selective mutism when I was 5 and then my great grandmother passed away. Everyone called her little mama except me.  I called her big mama. It made her mad though.  Think about it how adults look to 2, 3, or even a 4 year old little person I once was.  You can understand how a little person would call someone big.  I did not mean that she was fat I guess that was how she took it.  OKay. I was 5 and I was diagnosed with selective mutism, my sister's best friend's dog bit me and I think my great grandmother passed away.  It was probably the dog bite and the passing of my g...

Pole dance as a workout routine and I always wanted to try pickleball.  I wish that I could play pickleball and do a pole dance workout routine with a coach.  That will all cost me a fortune!  Say what if I could play pickleball and do pole dance.  No, they don't judge you and they will not ever be a predator or make me do anything that I am not comfortable with doing.  Guess what I have now?  I have selective mutism cards that I bought from my SM friend, I have freeze-friendly things that I can do you know (deep breathing, meditation, Journaling, making bracelets).    But I haven't been able to make bracelets or earrings as I am running low on cash. Well at least the SSD check.  Is there anything else I need or want to say?  I think of anything.  

This is what really made me angry all these years!  People have said that I was being rude, oppositional, stubborn and defiant all those years ago.  I don't know this for sure but I think that was why I was angry and people could look at me tell that I was angry just by looking at my face.  People wouldn't even shut up long enough for me to say my experiences with selective mutism.  I don't know what people thought but I think that people thought that I didn't even know what selective mutism was.  I really started looking up the words back in 2012 on wikipedia.org.  People thought that I got all my information from Jason.  So they just ignored me.  I only read information on organization websites and then go back to listening to other people because people are smarter than I am.  And has my mom looked up the actual word for oppositional?  I'm about to go do that myself.  Below is the picture of the definition of the word. ...

I’m not very efficient, but I want to be.  Efficiency isn’t about rushing — it’s about keeping things structured so I don’t get overloaded. It helps me stay present and communicate clearly.