My Blog

Lessons life has taught me is to speak at a very slow pace and deliberately.  Also, it taught me to not run in any hallway and treat people with respect.  I already do that and I will continue to do that.   Is there anything else that I forgot or I need to know?  

I got to get this out in the open. After hurricane Harvey when my parents were having that meeting with TJ and martin and penn. The whole time my mind and nervous system was saying danger ahead. Don't do it. These guys are very dangerous. But I had no business getting into the middle of that since it is not my house. I should have spoken up and said as a selectively mute that these guys are very dangerous and they will take your money and run. These guys are a scam! I knew that they were a scam even when they were having that meeting over at my sister's house--but I couldn't say anything as it was not my house to deal with and I was too scared to stand up for my safety and for the safety of everyone else. I know this sounds psychological, but this comes from my scared mind and nervous system thinking of the danger that was coming! My parents lost everything on the bottom floor of their house but the clothes on their back and a bag that we packed thinking that we w...

1. “What is my body trying to tell me right now?”    My body is trying to tell me that cortisol and adrenaline the two stress hormones are the culprits of me gaining weight plus the muscle tone I have been gaining when I workout.  But I have to listen to listen to my doctor telling me that sugar, carbs and fat are the culprits that are making me gain weight.  Who is right?  Me, who says it is the two stress hormones---cortisol and adrenaline.  Or what my doctor says, that it is sugar, carbs and fat.   2. “What would help me feel 5% safer or softer in this moment?”  Smelling something calming like Lavender.  Telling the cat I'm going to pick her up.  Happy (the cat) really does not like to be picked up but she will follow me up the stairs for a cat treat.  Go figure.  lol!  Nicki Rose loves to be carried around.  I taught her a whole plethora of tricks.  She knows first sit, laydown, give five, high five and ...

I just had an anxiety attack. It was a thought about me not being able to do anything an example would be living in my own apartment or volunteering or how I was raised. My mom said I was raised no different than my older sister.  But it was like I hovered over if that was the word I am looking for.  

Today, at a point where you are afraid to take action, fake courage.  Do whatever it is that scares you.  I want to be able to speak to people when they speak to me.     

There is nothing to fear but fear itself.  What is the worst possible outcome of my fear is people telling me that I can't do something or can't overcome selective mutism because they are afraid that I will do something stupid.  What can I do to control the outcome?   Read below the second picture. I have a long list of things I am anxious about.  Most of which are quite normal to be anxious about.  My question is: is anyone going to understand these?  No one has ever understood what I was saying to begin with.   1. when we move I will be the only one up here packing away. I know, it's my stuff.  I just want to say this.... I helped granmaw pack up her old house and move from her house to the apartment complex, Seville apartments.  which is where I moved originally to help my granmaw with her laundry and cleaning her house.   2. I am definitely going be alone up here to pack up all this myself.  Then when people come ...