Friday March 27, 2026 | Journal Prompt | What brought you joy as a child and how can you incorporate those joyful moments into your day?

I remember this one time when I had these fisher-price little people when I was 2.  My sister and I 

were playing with them together on the floor of the house over on Broadmoor.  I was also playing 

with these weeble wobbles when I was about 9 or 10 years old.  I played with strawberry shortcake.

I once set up my binder from school to make it look like it is there house.  

I wouldn't want to incorporate that into my day.  Once or twice in my late 20's I walked down to the park about a mile down the road from my parents house, I walked down to the park and swung on the swings when they had swings.  Now they took every swing out and put in that stupid frisbee golf net thingys for a very stupid reason!  They were afraid that someone would get hurt on them.  People only get hurt on swings when they are not safe with them.  

Thursday March 26, 2026 | Faced with discrimination? No

I haven't been faced with discrimination.  I will never be able to take action because of my

severe anxiety.  I will never be able to step outside the door because of my severe anxiety disorder.

I am trying to make everyone around me happy.  

Tuesday March 24, 2026 | Going Viral | Selective mutism | 52-year-old

Here are the ideas what I want to write about.  

I lived over 50 years without knowing why my voice shutdown--and here is what I learned.

5 things people misunderstood about selective mutism in adults.

1) They think they know about selective mutism when clearly they do not.

2) They still do not understand anxiety attacks.

3) People tell me what selective mutism really is when clearly they do not have a clue what SM is.

4) They try to tell me what the definition of selective mutism is when clearly they do not know.

5) 

How I learned to speak up after decades of shutdowns?   Calm, Clear voice--that's your superpower!

Questions

This always happens. I do almost always have questions after I leave. I don't know why. I am just trying to gather the question.

Is muscle pain and symptom of an anxiety attack?  And I know that sciatica comes from being overweight, but can sciatica also be a symptom of anxiety?  I don't want to rule anything out.  

Monday March 23, 2026 | Journal Prompt | What are your hopes for the Future?

My future?  Well I would like to get an apartment with support, but I don't think that is happening.  I would like to be around other people who have selective mutism and autism but I don't think that is happening just yet.  Plus I don't know if people with selective mutism and autism would even like me.  Everyone just tells me that I just leave things out when I talk if I am able to talk.  

Monday March 23, 2026 | Panic Attack | Shortness of breath

I just had a panic attack.  Not sure what caused it though, but I breathed right through it.  

Sunday March 22, 2026 | Journaling Prompt | Journaling what is on my mind

When I watch NKOTB or Boston Blue a show that Donnie Wahlberg is on, also a member of NKOTB.  I also feel most content when I am journaling.  I have been journaling since September 2012 as that is when the anxiety attacks started happening.  It really started in July 2012.  You wanna know something else... People said I looked angry when really I think that it was anxiety attacks.  Anger can look like anxiety attacks.  I just had to go with what people said I had and that was anger until I had more information on selective mutism.  

Tell me if this is true.  I believe that we are responsible for our own happiness but when it comes to our safety, other people have to step up.  This is when a person was little or I mean when they were three and they were responsible for their own happiness and their parents had to step up when it came down to their safety.  

What would people say when I ask "who am I?"  I don't know who I am.  I have been told so many times by many people of who I am that I just don't know anymore.  No Jason did not tell me this.  I did not know Jason V back in the 80s.  Well I did know a Jason back in the 80s but it wasn't Jason V.   Who was he to me-- about Jason who had went to marshall middle school?  Well I would like to say that I was dating him but that is not right.  He was just a guy that I sat next to on the bus going home.  

Having selective mutism does make us more naive and gullible because we have to listen to other people as they talk.  People who have SM are not assertive at all.  People who have selective mutism, they are all different with different experiences.  People say that I am naive and gullible just because I listen to whatever they say and believe them.  Jason has me convinced that I am naive and gullible.  He told me not to take anything to heart what he says.  Tell me if this is true, Does anyone who has/ or had selective mutism believe anything what people tell them?  

How comfortable do you feel about expressing your needs to others?  

Not comfortable--and people tell me that I can't do anything for myself just because I am unable to speak.  No, people will laugh when I say what my needs are.  Then there is something called "immature" or "childish" that some people call me.  Is "childish" behaviors a symptom of autism?  I don't think Jason and his mother-Doni know what the h*ll they are talking about?  Jason's mother-Doni has ADHD and Jason is also ADHD.  That explains a lot!  

Written down below is personal boundaries.  Not sure if this is the right thing. When I get back from a store H E B is the most crowded.  I have to step to the side and reset my nervous system by finding a quiet space and do deep breathing or mindful movement has this meditation called yoga nidra.  Like today I laid back in my recliner and set a timer for at least 41 minutes as the meditation was about 41 minutes.  I listened until I fell asleep then my subconscious mind took over and listened.  I guess that is how the mind works.  I don't know, I'm not sure how the mind works.