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I am just checking my Google/YouTube account too see if I can post on this blog on my phone. Yes, it looks like it. 

What specific steps or thoughts helped you navigate that moment?   What strengths or coping strategies did you discover about yourself then that you can lean on right now? I was at my grandmother's house and I was 3 years old.  I am not sure if this can count as being overwhelmed but I know what I said to myself.  I told myself to live in the moment and right now.   Not sure how many years ago that was but in short at age 52 now, I thought of the "live in the moment" and "right now" statement and came up with this at 52.   Be Calm. In the moment. Right now. Breathe. I guess it taught me patience and calm but somewhere along the way I lost that calm and patience.  From who?  I am not sure.  I would like to say it was Jason but that is not right because I didn't know Jason back then.  

Right now my mind feel like I am unable to process my thoughts due to SM.  I am just unable to form words and spit them out.   It is that freeze response that is the problem.  If I would have gotten the shit beat out of me, I think I would have been afraid to talk because that would only make the freeze response even harder to control.  Right?   Below is what it feels like.  It just feels like I'm unable to form words to spit it out of my mouth.  And that is what the butterfly tapping does.  It just feels like to me that it doesn't make my chest not so heavy.  I feel stupid doing a butterfly tapping on my chest out in public.  I do the butterfly tapping while in meditation though.  If I didn't feel like people would look at me all weird, I would do the butterfly tapping anywhere.    The throat tightens at the same time Freeze often hits the throat and chest together. Sensations: throat feels closed or stuck ...

I would like to overcome my anxiety limitation.  Why would I want to overcome it?  Maybe it's better to have severe anxiety.  I will always be safe and protected.   Well, on Tuesday, September 1, I was triggered by that storm.  My dad got it in his head that we were going to flood again.  My parents were flooded out of the bottom floor and they lost everything but the clothes on their back and the bag that they packed to go over to my sister's house. There was about 8 foot of water in the house and my cat KatieJordan was trapped upstairs, and after the flood water went down, she brought all the neighborhood cats up there.  KatieJordan ran off over the rainbow bridge back in October 2019.   Now, if we were flooded out again, I would have tried to say, "Get your butt up here this instant!"  We would have all been yelling out the upstairs window for a rescue boat.  But luckily, there wasn't a flood.  And don't get me started ...

The most offensive thing that I heard my grandmother say before she passed away was the fu-word.  I didn't hear her say that word per say but my mom did hear her say that word. I was in the hallway and was really anxious.   My granmaw never ever cursed in front of me and my sister when we were younger, the two eldest of her grand-kids.  Now what I just realized was me and my sister were the two eldest granddaughters of our grandmother.  I never quite knew my grandpaw, he passed away right before I was born.  I heard all the stories about him.  He passed away in 1973 and I was born in 1974.  My mom told me that my aunt said that he was going up as I was coming down or something to that effect.  I wonder how old she was when she said that.  I did hear the funniest thing when my aunt was a young girl that she asked my dad if the toilet flushed when the lights went out. That was the funniest story that I heard about my aunt.  Another st...

I admire people for their determination and honesty. I wish I had a strong trait of my own. I tend to avoid confrontation, but I communicate best in writing. There are times when I need to speak up, and though it may take me a while, I do so when I’m comfortable. I might be slow to respond, but people will just have to accept that.