My Blog

This was a question I asked in the box on copilot. I guess it doesn't mean anything. Just wanted to see what copilot says. I guess when you pop a question in the copilot app, I heard they will give you different answers to your assorted. It's just what I heard. Not sure if it's true. I want to follow up on that question to see if this is true. I still can't identify any patterns that I have. Can my nervous system be stuck in a pattern of what my dad said to me back in the 80's? He told me "you don't want to disappoint mom do you"? I would like to think that I was 5 or 6 years old because my parents were separated at the time I think. Saturday February 14, 2016 | Yesterday I was writing a journal prompt about patterns and what people have told me when I was younger. And just today our weight watchers meeting well someone had shared something that someone had told her. That was horrible words do hurt and your nervous system gets it stuck in yo...

  what does that mean when you feel guilty resting unless everything is done? When someone feels guilty resting unless everything is done , it usually means their nervous system has learned a very specific rule: “Rest must be earned.” Here’s what that actually means beneath the surface. 🌿 What “guilty resting” really signals 1. Your brain treats rest as a reward , not a basic need Instead of seeing rest as something every human requires, you may feel like: you have to finish the list first you must prove you’ve worked hard enough you need to justify taking a break It turns rest into something conditional. 2. Your nervous system is stuck in “go mode” If you grew up or lived in environments where: being productive kept you safe being helpful kept the peace being still led to criticism being busy earned approval …then your body learned that slowing down is risky. So when you rest, your system fires off alarms: “You’re falling behind.” “Someone will be upset.” “You should be doing som...

I felt (and even now) that all of these are when I shut down when well this is involuntary.  But family plus family friends and some strangers have also said these things and even quite often said "won't talk".  When really it is Can't talk and unable to move.   mouth won’t move throat feels tight words disappear mind goes blank body feels frozen or stuck The fight-or-flight response somehow kicks in and I shutdown and can't talk.

This is a weird but cool thing.  I just dream last night Wednesday Feb, 11, 2026 about my three-year-old self in church with my Grandmother, my mom and sister.  My sister is 5 years older than me so that would put her at 8 years old when I was 3?  We were living on broadmoor Street and going to sunday school and church as my grandmother called back then in the 79 and in the first part of the 80s.  So something might have happened when I was 3 years old.  I really didn't like yelling or loud talking.  I would put my hands over my ears ?  Question?  Was that symptom of Autism right there? Putting hands over ears because things were too loud?  And there was a lot of loud talking back in the 80s when we as in my grandmother, my mom, my dad, sister and I went to church.  I am wondering if I didn't like yelling or loud things?  

What would be your best self be feeling right now?  My best self would be going out and doing things. The problem with that is that there have been shootings in Beaumont lately.  That makes me not want to go out anywhere by myself.  I don't know.  I guess it's just.  I don't know how to make that a positive saying or situation because it is not.  I guess I am just scared.  I just have to make myself not be scared .   I love these quotes. "If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be".  Embrace your weirdness.  Today, do everything that makes you, you".  

Life is like riding a bike.  To keep your balance, you must keep moving.  If I had a bike and I could pump up the air in the tires, I would.  I would like help and someone to go bike riding with me like Manuel did.  Those were good times!  Thanks for the memories, Manuel.  I loved you even though you didn't know it.  How can I move an inch forward tomorrow?  I must work really hard to stay away from chocolate, sugar and fat.   I have no idea what these quotes mean.   "You've got to cross it for yourself. No one can cross it for you".   Do what needs to be done. Own the outcome.