My Blog

The reason I can't move is because they are afraid that it will happen again that happened back in 2012. It was the end of the world really.  When laying in bed, I feel unsafe.  I feel that the floor will give out and my parent's  bedroom is under mine. I'm scared that if the floor gives out that i will end up on the bottom floor all bruised up and....  Is that anxiety? 

To what extent can you change someone else's mind?   It is very slim to none.  I could not even change my dad's mind after hurricane Harvey when he was trying to strike a deal with a scam artist contractor TJ Martin.  I knew that he was a scam but I could not say anything.  If I would have picked right then to speak up and talk, then what would have happened?  I don't even want to think about that.  All I know is that Dad should have ignored TJ when he walked up to him.  My parents should have take the insurance money and bought a new house. But no....... my dad had to do that the hard way.  When Hurricane Harvey hit, my parents lost everything but the clothes on their back.   Now the house is not finished and everything is falling down around our ears practically.  lol!  

In moments of stress, try repeating the mantra "I am calm and in control".  Note the effect this has on your stress levels.   I have another mantra I say during meditation and that works just as well.  It is "Where words fail, music speaks".  But that one above is calming too.  I will try that a couple of times.  

My strength is my journaling.  I journal about every day about good things and bad things and some of my journaling even triggers other people.  If I work really hard at it, I can make staying calm in stressful situations one of my greatest strengths.  I can write about things for hours but still am unable to get passed that job interview question, "What are your strengths? and "What are your weaknesses?"  

This is what I found from Copilot. I will not believe this until a doctor or mental health professional actually confirms it. If this true, I need and want to get the heck out of dodge! The problem is that I don't have enough money to dodge this house! And because my nervous system works differently, It may be creating more intense anxiety symptoms on top of selective mutism. Selective mutism is a severe anxiety disorder where a person who is normally able to speak, is unable to speak in specific situations or to specific people. I will say this over and over and over until people get it through their thick skulls! I do want to speak. Also I need someone to shut up if they don't understand a severe anxiety disorder--selective mutism. Really all this is my fault for moving into this house. I should not have agreed to move in this house since I have an already existing anxiety disorder called selective mutism for 40+ years and a sensitive nervous system. If I could, I...