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Sunday October 25, 2026 | Free Thoughts | Lymphedema | trauma | SM

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I do think that Trauma can be from a major car accident.  I think that it started from I would say when I was about 2 years old.  Then when I was 18 years old, I was in a major car accident.  The accident was in June 1992.   My dad broke is nose and my spleen was ruptured.  I can remember me tumbling around in the van.  I was in the hospital for 2 weeks and then taken very carefully by ambulance to a hospital in Beaumont.    In the van, I was listening to music and drinking a pepsi and eating skittles when all of a sudden I looked up and saw a big yellow moving truck heading toward us.  The ambulance driver told my dad if I had been wearing a seat belt, I would have been dead.  I never had eaten skittles or drank a pepsi ever again after that.  Do you think that this is trauma starting before SM or is this ptsd?     I went to the doctor on Thursday October 22, they said I have Lymphedema where my foot, ankle and ...
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Tuesday October 20, 2026 | What is on your mind?

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Everything is on my mind and I don't know where to start.  Let's start with this colonoscopy.  I'm a little anxious that it is not going to go right.   Not sure where fiber gets turned into when we eat fiber from plants.  Through this whole thing, I need to stay calm.  I don't need my blood pressure and blood sugar going up.  I don't care what anyone thinks.  I know that anyone who has a severe anxiety disorder, I know that their blood sugar and blood pressure do go up.   I think this is what happened.  🤔  it believe that either Donna or my sister Karin let me in the gate or I followed my sister in the gate. There was a fear in me that left me shaking and I couldn't speak. Do you think that the dog bite would contribute to my selective mutism? 
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Thursday October 15, 2026 | Free Thoughts | My experience with selective mutism

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My experience with selective mutism is that I make myself speak.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it does not.  I do believe that any anxiety disorder causes a freeze response that causes blood pressure and blood sugar to spike.  I do not think that I eat too much.  If someone else does say another word about it, me kick their a$$!  
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Wednesday October 7, 2026 | speaking

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I had a dream of speaking up and saying that didnt want to live with Karin and Gerard and that I needed to be around people who are just like me with selective mutism/autism.  Then the night mare was i dreamed that my mom wasn't here on this earth. And  someone kept making me live with my sister and her husband. So i spoke up and told them I didnt want to do that. Since me and my sister are 5 years apart, we would probably get into alot of fights. I am alot stronger than my sister is.  I had tried to look up if you saw someone in a dream that a loved one died what does it mean? 
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Monday October 5, 2026 | Free Thoughts from Daily Gratitude | Perimenopause at 38?

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I am wondering if I went into early perimenopause at 38.  People kept irritating me over there at the apartment complex-seville apartments. People kept irritating me except this one lady who wanted to be friends with me it seemed like.  Anyway, people would not listen to me and my feelings.  Now that just frustrated me and made me angry.  It's almost like I went into perimenopause early.  The main reason I got angry mostly was because people never shut up long enough so I could speak.   Okay, most of the people that were over there at the apartment are probably diseased including that lady who told me wanted to kick Jordan my dog at the time.  Now that really pissed me off!  
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Sunday October 4, 2026 | blood pressure

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My blood pressure was up kinda high today.  The only thing I did get done doing was exercising.  Exercise and strength training raises blood pressure a little bit.  If anything, does anxiety raise blood pressure?  
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Thursday October 1, 2026 | Happy awareness month: Breast Cancer, selective mutism, ADHD | Free Thoughts

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During the mri today, I had started saying my mantra, "Be calm. In the moment. Right now. Breathe."  It seemed to calm me down alot.  And after about 20 minutes, it was all over with.  That thing is loud.    I keep wanting to spread awareness, but no one wants to talk about selective mutism.  
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