My Blog

In moments of stress, try repeating the mantra "I am calm and in control".  Note the effect this has on your stress levels.   I have another mantra I say during meditation and that works just as well.  It is "Where words fail, music speaks".  But that one above is calming too.  I will try that a couple of times.  

My strength is my journaling.  I journal about every day about good things and bad things and some of my journaling even triggers other people.  If I work really hard at it, I can make staying calm in stressful situations one of my greatest strengths.  I can write about things for hours but still am unable to get passed that job interview question, "What are your strengths? and "What are your weaknesses?"  

This is what I found from Copilot. I will not believe this until a doctor or mental health professional actually confirms it. If this true, I need and want to get the heck out of dodge! The problem is that I don't have enough money to dodge this house! And because my nervous system works differently, It may be creating more intense anxiety symptoms on top of selective mutism. Selective mutism is a severe anxiety disorder where a person who is normally able to speak, is unable to speak in specific situations or to specific people. I will say this over and over and over until people get it through their thick skulls! I do want to speak. Also I need someone to shut up if they don't understand a severe anxiety disorder--selective mutism. Really all this is my fault for moving into this house. I should not have agreed to move in this house since I have an already existing anxiety disorder called selective mutism for 40+ years and a sensitive nervous system. If I could, I...

 Have you ever been betrayed ?  How did this experience effect your future decision making ? I don't ever have to worry about making a decision because other people will do that for me.  It's kind of nice not having to make a decision.   I really want to learn to make decisions.  To make decisions regarding this house, I am unable to do.  I have never had a house or apartment of my own.  Well I had an apartment for three years but it felt like my parents apartment more than it was mine.  My mom kept making all the rules and boundaries while I was living there.  She kept saying don't let Jason move in with you.  I kept thinking why not?  Then I lost that apartment and all the privileges that come with it.  If I knew what I did, then I would avoid doing that again to get kicked out.  The thing I know for sure is that some old pervert tried to take advantage of me.  I would have handled my own laundry and my gran...

🧊 Boundaries for People Who Push, Rush, or Don’t Understand Freeze These are firmer, for people who bulldoze your limits. “When I freeze, I cannot speak. Pressuring me makes it worse.” “If you push me during a freeze, I will step away completely.” “I need space when I’m overwhelmed. That’s not optional.” “I won’t stay in conversations where my nervous system is ignored.” These protect you from people who treat your freeze like a choice. I need to step away for a moment and reset my nervous system. I am unable to talk right now. Please let me reset.