My Blog

My experience with selective mutism is that I make myself speak.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it does not.  I do believe that any anxiety disorder causes a freeze response that causes blood pressure and blood sugar to spike.  I do not think that I eat too much.  If someone else does say another word about it, me kick their a$$!  

I had a dream of speaking up and saying that didnt want to live with Karin and Gerard and that I needed to be around people who are just like me with selective mutism/autism.  Then the night mare was i dreamed that my mom wasn't here on this earth. And  someone kept making me live with my sister and her husband. So i spoke up and told them I didnt want to do that. Since me and my sister are 5 years apart, we would probably get into alot of fights. I am alot stronger than my sister is.  I had tried to look up if you saw someone in a dream that a loved one died what does it mean? 

I am wondering if I went into early perimenopause at 38.  People kept irritating me over there at the apartment complex-seville apartments. People kept irritating me except this one lady who wanted to be friends with me it seemed like.  Anyway, people would not listen to me and my feelings.  Now that just frustrated me and made me angry.  It's almost like I went into perimenopause early.  The main reason I got angry mostly was because people never shut up long enough so I could speak.   Okay, most of the people that were over there at the apartment are probably diseased including that lady who told me wanted to kick Jordan my dog at the time.  Now that really pissed me off!  

My blood pressure was up kinda high today.  The only thing I did get done doing was exercising.  Exercise and strength training raises blood pressure a little bit.  If anything, does anxiety raise blood pressure?  

During the mri today, I had started saying my mantra, "Be calm. In the moment. Right now. Breathe."  It seemed to calm me down alot.  And after about 20 minutes, it was all over with.  That thing is loud.    I keep wanting to spread awareness, but no one wants to talk about selective mutism.  

Does high cortisol and high adrenaline raise blood pressure and blood sugar even when I am scared to eat anything because Jason will say something about my eating and that I have high blood sugar and prediabetes?