My Blog

Effective communication is facilitated when others allow me sufficient time to respond and articulate their thoughts at a measured pace.  

I am safe in this moment.  I can handle this one step at a time.   I can go at my own pace.  Except when I have a doctor's appointment where I have to be somewhere at a certain time.   Breathe.  I am safe in this moment. (for panic) My mind can rest.  Tomorrow can wait.

Things that are difficult for me.  What are these signs?   Taking things literally.  People say that I can't take change. That is not true for me. Sometimes you just have to mix up your day a little bit, and add a change of scenery.   I notice small details.  What are patterns? I have a very difficult time making friends.   Understanding social rules and social cues. Making eye contact. I try to force eye contract. It doesn't always work.  I did learn a trick from another counselor back in 1990 - 1995.  He taught me to look past people's ear. But I thought of something better. More appropriate. Looking at the person's forehead.  They think I am making eye contact when I can't make contact.  

I do think that Trauma can be from a major car accident.  I think that it started from I would say when I was about 2 years old.  Then when I was 18 years old, I was in a major car accident.  The accident was in June 1992.   My dad broke is nose and my spleen was ruptured.  I can remember me tumbling around in the van.  I was in the hospital for 2 weeks and then taken very carefully by ambulance to a hospital in Beaumont.    In the van, I was listening to music and drinking a pepsi and eating skittles when all of a sudden I looked up and saw a big yellow moving truck heading toward us.  The ambulance driver told my dad if I had been wearing a seat belt, I would have been dead.  I never had eaten skittles or drank a pepsi ever again after that.  Do you think that this is trauma starting before SM or is this ptsd?     I went to the doctor on Thursday October 22, they said I have Lymphedema where my foot, ankle and ...

Everything is on my mind and I don't know where to start.  Let's start with this colonoscopy.  I'm a little anxious that it is not going to go right.   Not sure where fiber gets turned into when we eat fiber from plants.  Through this whole thing, I need to stay calm.  I don't need my blood pressure and blood sugar going up.  I don't care what anyone thinks.  I know that anyone who has a severe anxiety disorder, I know that their blood sugar and blood pressure do go up.   I think this is what happened.  🤔  it believe that either Donna or my sister Karin let me in the gate or I followed my sister in the gate. There was a fear in me that left me shaking and I couldn't speak. Do you think that the dog bite would contribute to my selective mutism? 

My experience with selective mutism is that I make myself speak.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it does not.  I do believe that any anxiety disorder causes a freeze response that causes blood pressure and blood sugar to spike.  I do not think that I eat too much.  If someone else does say another word about it, me kick their a$$!