Fighting those anxious thoughts

Friday July 31, 2020  I am fighting those anxious thoughts and fighting to eat one of those m&m's.  I allow myself four or five m&m's but that is all.  You can't deprive yourself do you know what I mean?  I mean what can four or five m&m's do, right?  Now the coke. I'll maybe wait until Saturday to drink.  For the most part, I do fight off those anxious thoughts. As on other days, I just say screw it and get under my weighted blanket or hold Jordan or hold my reborn.  

Now I see where I got my anxiety from?  My mom!  But I don't know where I get my Selective Mutism from.  I am thinking I got it from my dad's real mother.  Well my a/c was fixed.  I don't know They need more room to put the um... I don't know what they are called--- they are big round things that are up in the attic. but he took them up into the attic but it's part of the a/c process.  So they cut a bigger hole like more of a rectangle.  Here is the picture of it: