My Blog

Does anyone else know what full body muscle pain is from?  I don't want to rule anything out.  My doctor had me get a blood test the day of my appointment last year and nothing came up.  My doctor thought I had an autoimmune disease.  I really didn't think I had autoimmune.  You know, when I first get up out of bed, I have muscle soreness.  But after I have been up about 2 or 3 hours and exercised, I feel a lot better.  Know what else?  I didn't want to mention it but I think it is my bed that needs replacing.  I have 3 more years before I can get a new bed or mattress.  It would have to be a bed that has a 300 pound weight limit.  I think I better lose the weight first before I get the new bed but according to Jason, I haven't even started to lose the weight yet.  ugh!  At WW last Saturday, I lost .4 .  Jason doesn't even know if I lost the weight because he can't even see it.  All Jason sees is a fat ball which...

Every time I think about the time I was 3 years old, and was spending the night at my granmaw's house.  I was standing by my granmaw's sofa and was scared to death.  Okay how would you feel if you were 3 and you heard something about death and dying in church?  You would be afraid to I bet.  Now it's time to heal my inner child.  But how?  

I have had a lot of imagined kids in the past.  I had imagined that I was taking care of them until I realized that I would never take care of one or have one.  I realized that it was too hard to take care of kids or have kids.  I even dreamed that I had kids. Then I realized that I couldn't--so I had reborns for anxiety.  The night I babysat Jessica, the little 5 year old then that lived down the street from us.  She was a little California girl five year old.  She kept me up all night long that night.