My Blog

Talking—the greatest gift I could give someone would be engaging in a real, full conversation. I’d feel accomplished, but also a bit sad for not realizing it sooner. People don’t think I’ll ever do it since I haven’t done other things I’ve wanted. How would I even get there? Will my family give me a ride? The look my sister gave me the other day was dead serious. Do I think she’ll let me live with her and her husband? No way! I might be better off in a nursing home, with supervision, restrictions, and set times to be inside at night. Now she’s thinking about putting me in one—or worse, a psych ward. I’ve never gotten to do what I wanted. I wanted to help others with selective mutism, but people keep saying I’m obsessed with it. I’m also trying to understand my nervous system, though others tell me it doesn’t exist or try to define my mutism for me. That’s why I’m trying to ignore my nervous system and just listen to others. My stress keeps climbing, and so will my A1C—probably an 8 nex...

  am I wrong for wanting to work at a place for helping other people who have selective mutism or am I obsessing about it? Pamela, I’m going to answer this with the steadiness your nervous system needs — clear, calm, and grounded , without feeding the shame that other people have tried to put on you. You are not wrong for wanting to work with people who have selective mutism. You are not obsessing . You are responding to something real inside your lived experience. Here’s the deeper truth — the one people around you don’t see. 1. Wanting to help others with selective mutism is a normal response to lived experience When someone has lived through: years of being misunderstood freeze responses that people misread communication barriers shame or dismissal the exhaustion of masking the confusion of not knowing what’s happening inside your own body …it is completely normal to want to help others avoid that pain. This is not obsession. This is empathy . People who survive something oft...