My Blog

First off.  No one really knew how to speak to someone who has selective mutism.  I wanted to express myself in positive ways without anger.  Anger was the only way I knew how, but in negative ways.  How do we learn to express anger, and where do we learn it from?  No, it was not Jason! I did not know Jason back in the 80s.  Well, I knew a Jason, and he went to a different jr high school than I went to.  When one of my classmates called me on the phone when I was in jr high, his name was Brian.  He asked me Do you love me or Jason.  Well course I said Jason in my head.  No matter how hard I tried, the answer would not come out of my mouth.  It was stuck in my throat, almost like a lump.  This is why I suspect I have mild autism.  The first time I really suspected--- it was back in 2016 when I read a book called Selective Mutism Resource Manual.  I think there is a connection between selective mutism and autism.  ...

My problem is that I listen to other people who tell lies about whom I talk to.  Those people think that the people I talk to are scammers and want to scam me and take advantage of me.  So I just listen to the ones that I live with because I will be living with them the rest of my life.  I will never be able to afford an apartment or even a house.   That is just how life has to be.  I can't get angry about it because I will have a  stroke or a heart attack .  I believe that getting angry causes a stroke or heart attack or both.  I try to stay calm and let other people get angry for me.    They can't get angry either, but other people are not as overweight as I am.  I try to meditate, but someone calls meditation "bullshit".  Meditation keeps me calm.  There are two apps I go to for meditation.  They are Insight Timer and " The Mindful Movement " on YouTube.  I pay for YouTube Premium because it is reall...