My Blog

This is makes me more able to articulate.  I feel like I am more able to be myself with Jason but lately Jason has been telling me that I am rude and doing all these things that are considered " rude noises ".  You know the tics I do?  The one that sounds like me sucking snot, or the one that sounds like a fart and something else that I can't describe or put into words but it bugs the shit out of Jason.  I honestly can't help it.  The two people that I can be myself is AJ and Melissa . But I saw something about AJ and Melissa a few years ago. I can't remember the whole article but I remember pieces of it.  It was something about their daughter was locked in a closet while AJ was watching her.  I never told anyone else until I blogged about it today.  I swear.  

I have a triple whammy. I have selective mutism , muscle pain and in perimenopause .  I think I know how I got selective mutism. My sister Karin and my aunt Lisa said when I was two or 3 that if I say this I will get it for you. You are never supposed to do that to anyone. Plus at 4 or 5 the dog TJ- my sister's friend Donna's dog knocked me down and bit me on the nose.  I still have the scar on my nose from the dog bite .  Then at 5 I got my tonsils taken out . So from the "point to this and we'll get it for you" that my sister Karin and Aunt Lisa did and the dog bite and the accident in summer of 1992 could have added to that anxiety.  No wonder I remember everything when I was like 2 and 3 years old.  I remember the good stuff too.  It was mostly about my granmaw .  I think my granmaw understood me more than anyone.  There was one time my granmaw told me about when I was three.  I ran out to her car and said, "I'll drive granmaw!"  T...