depressed

I don't know why but I make people depressed. 😢😢😢😢 I knew he would leave me again. I'm really depressed now. 😥😥😥   He left me when I really needed him the most.  Is it because I would not speak to him? Because that is why other people gave up on me. 😢  I'm out. I'm going to bed. 

What is on my mind?

What is on my mind?  

Saturday, September 25, 2021 

OMG!  This is not good!  I um... uh beginning to love him more and more each day.  How do I stop this?  But I'm afraid getting rejected.  :'(  The anxiety will not let me say what I want to say.  Yeah, I know people will tell me not to worry about it.  If it is not important, don't worry about it. I don't want that to come to late especially when I like talking to him and he likes talking to me.  You know what, I'm not going to worry about it.  

I am a person with a mental health disorder and people with a mental disorder and an anxiety disorder and have to ask their parents if they want to do something.   No not something illegal.  It is not anything like that.  I will not let anyone do anything illegal and getting in a car with people you don't know is bad news. My parents have to know  their parents and get along with them well.    I will never let anyone leave me in the dark. I will grab their shirt playfully and say “get your ass back here”.  LOL!  

I would never not wear a bra out in public if that makes any sense.  It is so gross to not wear a bra out in public. I mean I still can't forget that time when my teacher thought that I took off my bra in class when really I did not!  What happened was that my bra unfastened and I was unable to tell her.  It was so embarrassing and she humiliated me so bad!  I was in the 6th grade back then.  My Selective Mutism was so bad that I froze up and I could not speak at all.  I will never forget what that teacher accused me of.  :'(  

And if I ever get arrested and not able to speak to police and how would I ask for a pen or something to write with to tell them about Selective Mutism.  God for bid that would ever happen again. No, I am hoping that it does not happen again.  That did not sound right.