First off. No one really knew how to speak to someone who has selective mutism. I wanted to express myself in positive ways without anger. Anger was the only way I knew how, but in negative ways. How do we learn to express anger, and where do we learn it from? No, it was not Jason! I did not know Jason back in the 80s. Well, I knew a Jason, and he went to a different jr high school than I went to. When one of my classmates called me on the phone when I was in jr high, his name was Brian. He asked me Do you love me or Jason. Well course I said Jason in my head. No matter how hard I tried, the answer would not come out of my mouth. It was stuck in my throat, almost like a lump. This is why I suspect I have mild autism. The first time I really suspected--- it was back in 2016 when I read a book called Selective Mutism Resource Manual. I think there is a connection between selective mutism and autism. See? It's one letter off from mutism, but that is beside the point.
I was bullied in elementary school. I felt misunderstood in Junior high. I couldn't do the work because I didn't understand how to do the work. I think I said that wrong.
Is that it, or am I leaving something out?
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