Monday August 26, 2024 | Anger and or Anxiety Attack?

I just spend the last two hours having an anger attack and being angry at myself for getting selective mutism.  I cried for the whole two hours.  I swear.  I was angry at myself and I'm blaming myself for getting selective mutism.  Now I am wondering if  when I got SM was trauma or abuse?  But I don't doubt it that Robert Young probably did something to me because he was an asshole and everyone knew it!  Becky Young was a family friend and Robert Young was her husband.  Ugh! My blood pressure going up.  It only goes up because the anxiety goes up doesn't it or no?  I was always told that when I ate or drank something with salt in it my blood pressure and blood sugar goes up.   When I was 3 years old, I heard Robert Young saying that he had high blood pressure and that he got it from eating too many foods or drinks with salt in them.  So I had spent years trying to avoid salt and it didn't work just because I had heard what Robert said back when I was three. I swear!  See? Three year olds do hear things what other people say especially three year old who have selective mutism or just about to be diagnosed with selective mutism.  I believe that I had the symptoms of selective mutism since I was two but I had to listen to the adults around me.  It was the late 70's and I was quiet and withdrawn by the time I was two years old.  It got real bad when I was four years old and starting preschool when I stopped talking to family members.  If my family sees this an tell that this never happen, I'm about to get aggressive!  They were not in a three year olds body so they do not know how I felt anxious at times.  I do know that everyone was once a three year old but they can not get inside a three old's head and say that they feel fine and okay when I was feeling a bit nervous.  I'm just speaking up for that girl that was once a three year old that was me.  The best way I know how! 

I should also mention that this blog is about me getting angry over the stupidest stuff which is uncalled for!  I was immature in this blog!