My Blog

This is not a good thing or a bad thing.  I'm reading this book, and a lot of things are coming up for me, and most of it is mostly psychological.   This is all in bits and pieces---and the order I read the book.  So I jotted some things down as I was reading, as I had remembered it.   My childhood best friend said some things about me then that had me questioning myself.  She said that I was eating candy one afternoon as we were playing a ping pong table game.  She said, " You are pigging out on candy".  One time she even said a fat joke.  Kind of a lame fat joke. Well that was because I didn't understand fat joke or even jokes in general.  I didn't even catch it until moments later.  "You ate too many pickles".   She said something along the line of  "If your leg was see-through, then you could fit three pickles inside that leg."  Or words to that effect.   I did not even catch that joke.  R...

Do you think full body pain can be due to an old mattress bought in 2009?  I don't know how old that is.  I have terrible pain in my left hip.  My mom thinks it is due to my exercises.  I tend to disagree with her.  I think it is due to my mattress.  Who is right me or my my mom?  I also have tension in my neck and shoulders.  Exercising really?  I do exercise a lot. I love to exercise but I don't think my full body pain is due to my exercising!!!  Then again, my mom said it was my weight too and that I needed to lose weight first and then see if I needed a new mattress.  Probably not since I am losing weight really slowly.  But my low back hurts, my left hip really hurts to the point that I can barely walk.  So maybe it is my exercising?  I will not stop exercising.  Why do people go straight to the source and think it's my exercising and they tell me to stop and rest?  Why are mattresses a psychological th...

Okay, it was July 4th and when we first got to my sister's house, and I saw her shoes.  I wanted to say something about them. I wanted to say that I thought her shoes were cute and where did you get them?  What were on them? I think that they were cats?  But anyways, that selective mutism beat me up and wiped me out today!  

The feeling that "everything is a hassle" is a common experience. However, it's often more about how challenges are perceived and addressed than an objective truth. This feeling likely reflects being overwhelmed, stressed, or having difficulty managing various aspects of life.   Here are potential reasons for feeling overwhelmed: Chronic Stress or Burnout:  Constant high stress levels can impair the ability to handle tasks, making them feel overwhelming. Mental Health Conditions:  Conditions like depression, anxiety, or ADHD can affect executive function and lead to feelings of overwhelm. Too Many Responsibilities or Life Changes:  A heavy workload, major life transitions, or difficult relationships can contribute to feeling swamped. Perfectionism:  Striving for unrealistic standards can make even small tasks seem daunting and lead to feelings of inadequacy. Difficulty Saying No or Setting Boundaries:  Overcommitting or feeling unable to decline reques...

For starters, I noticed there is a lot of tension in my shoulders.  That is either normal for people to have tension in there shoulders or it is because of anxiety and or stress.  Thank god that my pain in my hip or butt region went away after I had lost just a little bit of weight.  So thankful for that!  That is what tylenol is for but I don't really like to take tylenol unless the pain becomes unbareable.   Besides peppermint essential oil works best for muscle pain too.  Your body can become used to pain medicine like tylenol and it won't work anymore.  No one ever had to tell me that.  I just knew.   There was something I thought about after I got out of meditation.  Something about auditory processing difficulties. It was about when I was 2 and 3 years old.  But I forgot what it was.  It will come to me after a guided meditation.  dam should have wrote it down.  Oh that reminds me that yesterday I was ...

What are the beliefs that you developed about yourself as a child? Child, teen and adult?  That sums it up in all of three or four words.  They are screwup, slob, failure. And one thing my dad said to me was when I had done something my dad didn't approve of was: "you don't want to disappoint mom do you".  I will never forget that.  We were at my dad's friends' house.   What about Hypnotherapy to help make those beliefs go away and for me to overcome selective mutism a little bit?  or can it be done?  

When I am speaking to people I feel shaky.  Let me rephrase that.  When speaking to people who don't make me feel comfortable, I feel really shaky and nervous.  Can that be stress related?  I hate to say this but stress is probably spiking my blood sugar and blood pressure through the roof.  But my blood sugar is not high enough to be classified as diabetes.  In August, my doctor is going to diagnose me with diabetes and I will have to say I have been eating alot of sugar and carbs.  Unless it is stress and anxiety causing my blood sugar to spike?  Can stress and anxiety cause blood sugar spikes?  Can anxiety and stress cause me to eat a lot of sweet foods, carbs and high fat?  How does my body respond to stress?  I don't know.  I eat some unhealthy foods like on Saturday but I eat high fat like nuts during the week.  I would like to uncover besides eating alot of food and my weight why my blood sugar and blood pressure ar...