My Blog

That saggy mattress has nothing to do with my weight!  Nothing!  When I reach my goal weight, which is 140 pounds, believe me, my back would still be hurting!   I want an adjustable bed frame when I turn 55! A person is considered a senior citizen when they turn 55.   I believe when they are 65, they are officially a senior citizen!  I always wanted to say that.  

I know what the title says, but I had written this yesterday, and I wanted to get it out of my head and onto paper or screen.   When I was younger---about 4 and 5 years old, I felt like I wasn't understood.  I am wondering.  Let me see.  I think I couldn't figure out emotions when I was 4.  But like all 4 year olds, I never knew about emotions or feelings.  I never knew the feelings of another person.  And now?  I don't know.  How do you communicate with your inner child through guided imagery and hypnotherapy?   I believe that they don't want me to be independent in an apartment because my parents think that the same thing will happen that happened back in 2012.  Oh come on, I learned my lesson about what Jason seems to say that I did.  Opening the door and running down the hallway screaming?  Now, what is Mom's story? What is Marcy's story?  I want to hear anyone's story but Jason's story to be sure that I...

When people go to their sweet spot to be alone, they usually pick their closet, or on a chair in the middle of their kitchen with their apron on their head.  Well that is what I heard.  In my 20's I went down to the park when they had swings and I would swing on the swings. I would remember when I was younger when I would run away with mom to the park. Those were good times!  There is just something about swings that make someone feel so much better. Well it least it is that way with me.  But those dorks who took away the swings because of some stupid reason that someone will get hurt on them. ugh!  They put in those stupid frisbee golf.  booooorinnng!  

1) My mom and I are having this big argument, that my bed is causing my back pain.  She says it is my weight and I say the bed is the culprit.  Who is right?  Okay, maybe she didn't say that my weight is causing my back pain, but she may as well have.   My pain is in my neck, shoulders and hips.  I think that is the cause of my pain which in turn, my bed is the culprit.  Who is right?  My mom saying it is my weight and I'm saying the bed is the culprit.  I'm just sticking up for myself and my back pain.  But no one won't read what I have to say because they are too lazy to read.   You learn more about someone if you just shut up and read!

Not sure if this can be an anxiety attack.  But this might be a stupid thing to have an attack over?  Me going over and over in my head where I will be in a few years.  I would like to try living in an apart again but with my dad having anxiety attacks, (if they are anxiety attacks) and covering the bedroom window with pieces of cardboard thinking that someone will see them both.  Then again, he is 80 years old.  I think I'm going cry.  :'(   This is what I think.  I don't know if anyone else thinks this about me or not but what I think is that I think it is very important that I live independently.  I know that I have been told that it is rough out there. I have been told by numerous people that it is rough out there.  You know who you are if you remember what you said to me.  If not then, don't worry about it.  It is not your fault if I keep worrying about this until I get sick and nauseated.  That is a horrible fee...

Okay I gonna go indward. I have a question.  Can anxiety sometimes feel like you are not hungry? I just realized something. When I was over there in the apartments at Seville, I became really anxious every time my grandmother wanted me to do her laundry for her.  I did her laundry but I was really, really anxious because of the other elderly people over there, and I was in my mid-30s.  

This is not a good thing or a bad thing.  I'm reading this book, and a lot of things are coming up for me, and most of it is mostly psychological.   This is all in bits and pieces---and the order I read the book.  So I jotted some things down as I was reading, as I had remembered it.   My childhood best friend said some things about me then that had me questioning myself.  She said that I was eating candy one afternoon as we were playing a ping pong table game.  She said, " You are pigging out on candy".  One time she even said a fat joke.  Kind of a lame fat joke. Well that was because I didn't understand fat joke or even jokes in general.  I didn't even catch it until moments later.  "You ate too many pickles".   She said something along the line of  "If your leg was see-through, then you could fit three pickles inside that leg."  Or words to that effect.   I did not even catch that joke.  R...