Sunday July 20, 2025 | 1) THE BIG ARGUMENT | 2) Copying people's words when comfortable 3) Anger and the Inner Critic 4) Low Self-Esteem

1) My mom and I are having this big argument, that my bed is causing my back pain.  She says it is my weight and I say the bed is the culprit.  Who is right?  Okay, maybe she didn't say that my weight is causing my back pain, but she may as well have.  

My pain is in my neck, shoulders and hips.  I think that is the cause of my pain which in turn, my bed is the culprit.  Who is right?  My mom saying it is my weight and I'm saying the bed is the culprit.  I'm just sticking up for myself and my back pain.  But no one won't read what I have to say because they are too lazy to read.   You learn more about someone if you just shut up and read!

2) What is that term called when I repeat words and phrases from other people.  It only happens when I am very comfortable.  I remember when I was 8 years old and my childhood best friend was about the same age.  It irritated Jennifer I think.  Well I will tell you.  It's not that I was copying Jennifer, It was because I was listening to every word she was saying.   

Fast forward to the future, the same thing is happening with Jason.  I would repeat words and phrases not because to irritate him, it is because I am listening to every word he is saying to me.  Sometimes I probably listen too much.  So if I ever become so comfortable as to repeat things that you say.... please don't get mad at me as I don't know what that is called.  I am just learning to cope with it.  

3) My 4 year old self about me developing SM.  It maybe due to anger?  Since my mom said I had anger in my life.  Actually just because I look the part of being angry did not mean that was angry.  Well something made me angry early on childhood? and can it carried it into my teen years and then even into adulthood?  Okay, I'm not making any sense here whatsoever.  

So everyone has an inner critic, huh?  So something made me angry at what 4?  I would say that something made me angry at the age of 4.  

ahhhhhhhh I'm a danger to reading books!  But I wanted to read "You Are Not Broken" by Sara Raymond.  I really am not broken.  It's just that my mind is broken isn't it?  lol!  

4) What would cause a person to have low self-esteem?  I don't think anyone person would cause another person to have low self-esteem but I suppose it's possible.  I think it is more about the person who has low self-esteem that they let them do anything to them to cause them to have low self-esteem? One example would be that a person with severe anxiety called selective mutism--well another person would take total advantage of them and make that person get low self-esteem.  The only one person that might have caused me to have low self-esteem might have been Jason.  I want to dig down deeper to see if I had low self-esteem in childhood or teen years or even into adulthood.  I am pretty positive that I had low self-esteem then.