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As I was saying NKOTB always have made me smile except for that time back in 2014.  That was a time that I was a deep dark depression.  I was so down that not even watching NKOTB's videos were making me feel better.  AJ came back around and helped me come out of it.  When NKOTB first came out or when I first heard them back in 1988, It was just something about them and their music that made me feel better.  "Baby, I believe in you", "Hangin Tough", and their song "Whisper" after they reunited. Are just a few to name.  I believe it was back in 2013. The name of the album was 10.  So it wasn't just about their looks, it was more than that.  It was how they remained so positive.  Hangin Tough said enough like to always hang tough again drugs and gangs and against negative people.  Well I added the last one!  I also loved them because they are so positive! I'm sure I can speak for other BHsisters as well!  :)   I made a v...

I found this on selective mutism center official website.  There is hope!  I am determined to overcome this bitch!  Sorry for the language.  Perhaps I can somehow do virtual telehealth?  Pennsylvania is where selective mutism center is?  How much this will cost, I am not sure.  This may be the last thing I will ever pay for awhile.  Then I will have to build up the money in social security again.  I will then have to starve myself as I save up money.  I can very well live off my fat as I lose the rest of this weight off me.  Check out the link below.  It should say individual treatment for adults.  What is the individual treatment?  Do you think I should try it?  I'll try anything once. Even if I don't have money for awhile.  LOL!     Getting Started - Selective Mutism Anxiety & Related Disorders Treatment Center | SMart Center (selectivemutismcenter.org)

I am so tired of my family and friends assuming everything.  If I'm not on google, I am on YouTube watching podcasts. But they also say that I watch other people who have other disorders and copying off of them!  Why would I copy there disorder?  Why would I do that?  When I have selective mutism to face. Humm?  Self-harmed today because he said that I was assuming that Well I keep getting the impression that they are assuming that I don't know anything about selective mutism and I should ask a doctor because doctors tell the truth.  Doctors do not know shit about selective mutism!   The only one who doesn't assume anything about me is AJ. Why?  I just need to forget about him and move on.  I can't ask anyone anything.  I am limited to what I can do and what I can ask.  

Well I done had two panic attacks today.  One because of the crouded place and two when I was coming out of the place that when my niece grad from, I almost fell off a step. No not really.  But I did grab for that railing to hold onto it. Yes, I did do that 4, 6, 7 meditation if that is what that is. I do know how to calm that panic/anxiety attack down.   Later today, we all went out to eat after Rebecca's graduation.  When it was time to pay, Gerard said that he would pay.  Right before my mom said "thank you very much"  I said thank you in my head. My mom said what I wanted to say-but the words just won't come out.  There is something that you need to know about selective mutism no one else knows.  It just feels like to me that there is a rock stuck in my throat.  I say things in my head and when someone else says something, it's like there is a rock stuck in my throat.   That was um... very weird.  Mom said what I wante...

1. I don't think that I have an important relationship.  Define important relationship?   2. Well I can start by being more positive and understanding.  3. How do I get this conversation started? 

  @beginnerdancetutorials What better way to celebrate FriYAY than with some dancing to NKOTB?! 🤩🩷🧡 @New Kids on the Block dc: Kevin Maher and Sunny Walters #nkotb #newkidsontheblock #dance ♬ original sound - Beginner Dance Tutorials @beginnerdancetutorials Learn NKOTB’s latest music video choreography with this step-by-step dance tutorial 🩷🧡 Head to the “Kids” playlist on my profile to learn PART 2! 🎶 “Kids” by @New Kids on the Block dc: Kevin Maher and Sunny Walters 💃🏻 See the dance here ➡️ @Beginner Dance Tutorials #newkidsontheblock #nkotb #dancetutorial ♬ original sound - Beginner Dance Tutorials

Baylor college of medicine in Houston says I have Tourette like symptoms. I kind of agree.  I do practice mindfulness but it's extremely hard.  Tourette like symptoms is what they described as Tourettism?