Friday May 10, 2024 | Selective mutism feels like a rock wedged up in my throat

Well I done had two panic attacks today.  One because of the crouded place and two when I was coming out of the place that when my niece grad from, I almost fell off a step. No not really.  But I did grab for that railing to hold onto it. Yes, I did do that 4, 6, 7 meditation if that is what that is. I do know how to calm that panic/anxiety attack down.  

Later today, we all went out to eat after Rebecca's graduation.  When it was time to pay, Gerard said that he would pay.  Right before my mom said "thank you very much"  I said thank you in my head. My mom said what I wanted to say-but the words just won't come out.  There is something that you need to know about selective mutism no one else knows.  It just feels like to me that there is a rock stuck in my throat.  I say things in my head and when someone else says something, it's like there is a rock stuck in my throat.  

That was um... very weird.  Mom said what I wanted to say but the words just won't come out.