My Blog

I had a dream that I was controlling my anger and anxiety/panic attacks and I woke up and everything went back to normal.  Of course, I heard my dog barking.  It turns out that she wanted water and her treat before her dry dog food.   

I voted for.... I'm not telling who I voted for. Whoever wins is who I voted for.  Right?  

Is there a walk for Selective Mutism?  Or can I create one?  How can I create a walk for Selective Mutism?  Not sure how to create a walk for Selective Mutism/anxiety?   5pm Tuesday October 20, 2020 Okay I was anxious today. I was talking to someone online and abruptedly someone came upstairs to fix the toilet. I stopped cold Turkey whoever I was talking to and froze. 🤢 This is what selective mutism anxiety does. 🤮  It is absolute horrible! I feel like have to throw up. 🤢🤮 Why am I sometimes about to cry?  Does anyone ever have a monthly friend that makes them want to cry?  Like a week before they come over the person feels like they want to cry. Then when they leave they feel happy and relieved that she/it is gone.  

Apparently, I am having a lot of anxiety, but I am not sure what the cause is.  :'(  Mental stress I think is the word I'm looking for.  I think some of it is Jason and some of it is coronavirus.  I'm now half afraid to go out to the store.  When I think of mental stress, I think of like I eat when I am anxious or having a lot of anxiety.  Does that make sense?        

 Do I struggle with being socially anxious or something?  For example: I bite my fingernails.  I already know that I can't speak in front of certain people in certain situations. Like my aunt, my sister, and my mom and dad.  Everyone Selective Mutism individual that I speak/typed to have told me the same thing.    

Last night I had this really weird dream. I felt like I was running, and running from something and now I woke up really tired.  When that happens, it usually means I will run really well this morning.  I maybe even be running 1 mile.  I kept running and running and running.  I ran for a 10-minute video and a 25-minute video of Pahla B Fitness on YouTube.  I love her running videos.  I could run all day but I'm not going to.  My body would be stressed out and want to store fat.  My body thinks that I'm starving it so it wants to store fat.  My body will lose weight where it wants to where ever it wants to.  lol!      

 I can't do anything all because of this coronavirus.  The only thing I can do when I wear a mask is speaking clearly.  but no one can understand me due to the mask I'm wearing.  Do you want me to show you?  It's only when I am wearing my Hangin Tough mask.  I'm Hangin Tough through the coronavirus.  That song Hangin Tough literally got me through everything!  It is an 80's song and I loved that song!  That song sends a message like well they said it was like "say no to drugs".  That song, Hangin Tough, literally got me through the tough times!  I would always listen to Hangin' Tough.  Hang Tough until January because that is when they will have a cure for coronavirus.   I always smile when I watch a New Kids on the Block (also known as NKOTB) video on youtube. But that day in 2014, I must have really been depressed as I was not smiling when I was watching an NKOTB video.  I cried the whole time.  :'(  ...