Tuesday March 8, 2022 | nightmare or panic attack

I had either a panic attack or a nightmare about what happened to Jordan. She was at least 11 or 12. Well I got her when she was 2 in 2012.  I was preparing myself because she was a senior dog.  Jordan was great therapy dog and I loved her to pieces.  

I'm going to wait a while to get another dog. Maybe my next dog I will get with AJ. I do have a few fears about real big dogs. I did get bit on the nose by my sister's friends dog, TJ when i was 5 years old.  I told her that I forgave her, but I still remember it.  Five years old? But get this.... I was also diagnosed with selective mutism at 5.  I am wondering if the dog bite from Donna's dog TJ has something to do with the fear in me that got me to stop talking to certain people in certain situations?  Maybe the fear of the dog biting me and I couldn't get up? Who let me in that gate anyway so that TJ could bite me? 

I am up at 3am by a noise made from Sophie or at least it it was Sophie. It scared the shit out of me!  Sophie is good at scaring people!!!