Thursday March 11, 2021 | Anxiety and the thought that everyone is after me

Last night there was (well I think there was a gunshot firing last night, Wednesday night)  and I think I was the cause of it. Well they decided to come back at night and shoot off some guns at my house. :'(   I had my windows open one day and I think, that they were thinking that if they couldn't have me no one can so they were going to shoot me dead!   

Is this anxiety thinking?  I think they saw me naked or something.  I'm keeping the curtains from now on all the time and keeping my ass safe!!!  

God! I have a tendency to cause trouble with some men and even African American men!  :'(  I do like everyone but only as a friend.  I don't care what their background is or their color. They could be black, white, red, green chinese, portuguese. I don't care as long they are nice!!!  :)  

I really do put myself up to all this anxiety and if I do get shot, then I really deserve it!!!!!! :'(  

Okay, I'm not really naked but I do have on my workout clothes when I open the curtains up.  :)  oops!  I am not going to do that anymore.