My Blog

The first time I suspected that I have autism, was when I was 16.  No one knew what it was so I brush it off as being "normal".   The first thing I noticed what difficulty making friends when they would stray away.  The friendboy's who are disabled, (i like to say it friendboy that way to keep me from being anxious) Jason and AJ both understand SM and they both have ADHD and I think they are autistic.  AJ and Jason act the same way. Aj is just a little nicer than Jason because I think AJ knows how to control his adhd symptoms.  Sometimes I think that I have ADHD because I really want to say things that AJ and Jason do say that get sometimes or maybe alot of times gets them in trouble.   There is something I could never figure out is why does anyone who has some kind of disability always find each other?  Selective mutism and autism somewhat have the same symptoms.  I do believe that ADHD and Selective mutism are the same.  SM is qui...

I have to settle an argument.  I want to know if an old saggy mattress causes muscle pain from head to toe?  It feels like a thin layer of muscle pain from head to toe.  Here is the picture that I have found.

My original reason for wanting to lose weight when I was 30 was wanting to be a healthy weight.  Now I just wanting to lose weight to keep people from teasing me because I am morbidly obese.  I believe that I was in some kind of hormonal changes in my 40's not only just eating too much.  I think that we all eat too much junk.  That original reason for wanting to lose weight became obsolete.  Now?  Now I want to lose weight to keep people from teasing me and telling me to lose weight when I am doing the best way I know how.   Plus I had severe anxiety due to selective mutism.  I don't care what anyone else thinks about selective mutism, I was struggling a good part of my life with it.  Some stupid idiot thinks that I am not going to overcome it.  Do you think that someone who is 51 will ever overcome selective mutism?  I know I'm not going to totally overcome it as I will still have the effects from SM.  

What  are  my  core  values?  My core values is honesty. What  motivates  me ?  What motivates me is people being supportive and saying that I can do anything that I set my mind to as long as it's within reason.   What  are  my  goals?   My goals are overcoming selective mutism a little bit so that I can speak comfortably to people but not so comfortable that I talk about menopause and embarrass myself.  I guess I am suppose to talk about whatever other people want to talk about.  How  can  I  improve  myself?   Surround myself with positivity and supportive people.  Where can I find supportive people?   What  are  my  strengths  and  weaknesses ?  Public speaking What really helps me is when I'm talking or whispering to the cat or dog, please  feel free to chime in when I am talking or whispering to the cat or the dog.  

I guess you probably figured it out that mold or mildew actually smells like cigarette smoke.  I am trying to figure out where it is and clean it up.  I am thinking it is close by the computer I am writing this blog from in the kitchen is the closet that it is coming from.  I guess I said that right?  I think we tackled the mildew in my big ass weird closet.  I hate that closet by the way.  It is way too big in there and it's too dark in there.  It's not the way you look at it.  The light does not work. That is why it is not on.  I once went in there and got a shirt out and then some leggings.  It turns out that I got the wrong color that didn't go with something.  The light was working and on before Hurricane Harvey.  It stopped working only after those stupid guys "martin and penn" slept on the floor in my room and I am thinking that one of those guys working had broken the light in the closet and faucet in the bathroom....

Deep questions to ask yourself for self-reflection include. What are my core values? My values are honesty and kindness.  But if you disrespect me, (laughs) watch out.  What truly makes me happy?  If I could overcome selective mutism a little bit to make me a bit more comfortable speaking around other people.  What are my greatest fears and how do they hold me back?  For starters, fears of getting into trouble with mom and dad like I did when ------- actually I learned from my sister what not to do. Now I am scared to do things without permission.  Now I'm getting too old because I waited too long because I was scared that I was going to get into trouble like my sister did when she was younger.   Am I living a life aligned with my priorities?  No.  I guess priorities mean that I need to meditate every day, do some journaling, inner peace, financial stability, feeling safe and calm.   What is my life's purpose?  I am kin...

I just wanted to say that my muscle pain doesn't hurt while I am exercising---but they hurt me hours later.  Actually they feel good while I am exercising.  I do have to take shower with peppermint body wash.  There is this peppermint body wash that Walmart is selling right now during the ber months.  September, October, November and December.   Today is Sunday and on Wednesday October 1 is selective mutism awareness month.  No that is not all.  On Wednesday October 1, I find out what my full body muscle pain is.  It is a thin layer of muscle pain all over my body from head to toe.  Like I said up there it doesn't hurt while I am exercising, it hurts me hours later.  No, that is not all my doctor saw something in the blood test that she had me get the day of my appointment.  So she is sending me to another doctor on October 1.  Why so long from in August? The short answer is I don't know.