My Blog

If I could start an online jewelry business, I would have to learn to make a really great rosary but who will want to buy the rosary anyway.  Who would feel sorry for me and buy my creations?  No one would want to buy anything from me since I am almost 50.  It would be fine if I was like 5 or so and I had autism or ADHD.   I am almost 50.  I might have either since people can have selective mutism and ADHD.  Or selective mutism and autism.  But has anyone had selective mutism, ADHD, and autism all at the same time?  Maybe they overcame selective mutism and all they have was autism and ADHD?   No I don't think that I can start an online business because if some unexplained money comes rolling in, I will have some explaining to do to mom because she does my checkbook things. She would not know where the money was coming from.  Where is the money coming from?  She will ask me over and over again. Then she will ask me to delet...

My mental health would overall be at an 8 since I am naive and gullible. Okay, when someone from the internet pops up out of nowhere.  I am not sure if they are being serious or just playing around.  It's fine if they are just playing around.  I can take playing around but anything more than that, I don't think that I can take it.  Maybe it's better if I just play it solo right now. I had to say goodbye to one then another and then another. Just last year, I had to say goodbye to AJ.  Because as always my mom thought that he was a scam.  Jason thought that AJ was a scam.  FOR THE LAST TIME AJ IS NOT A SCAM !  My mom just didn't want to have to take care of another human being for me.  Maybe it's for the best that I am how I am because that is all how I will be from now on.  I will always have to depend on people for the rest of my life.  No, I need to get these thoughts changed but how?  I guess I will have to do this.  I...

The one job that I could do if I knew that I could not fail is reading for audiobooks for people to read.  I guess I have emotion in my voice and I maybe can tell a story and listeners would be wanting to listen to the audiobooks that I recorded.  But the hardest thing is getting through that damn interview! Ugh!  Can someone like maybe help me get through the interview?  That would be greatly appreciated.  I wonder if I can work from home?  but the outside noises would be a real bitch to have to work with---maybe the noises with the lawn guy, (I forget his name)  or the rain outside or with the A/C kicking on and off (or heater).  I know that they have those noise-blocker things. What are those called?   I'm not stupid!   I think I was joking about that and besides I think you would have to go to college for that.  I know can't fail with helping other kids who have selective mutism.  One of those two things reading a...

My baby girl had a panic attack on Monday when and all hell broke lose and started storming. The lights went out. My Nicki is scared of storms and thunder. Me? I'm just scared of lightening. Then it started storming again and again the lights flickered and back on. Nicki Rose high tailed it under my bed and she would come out from under my bed. I had to cuddle her pet her. Then I sat down with her while she laid in her bed. That was so cute. Yes Nicki Rose I under stand you too. I have panic attacks too.  I understand so I had to cuddle her. Who knew that I would have a dog that has panic attacks that I would start to recognize my own.

I would like to say thank you for those around me that tried to help me with me having selective mutism.  with two of you actually got me to open up a little bit and on my way to overcoming selective mutism.  I love you dearly.  I just realized what people around me were trying to do. They were trying to express gratitude around me teaching me how to do that.  I thank you for teaching me that.  Can you please forgive me for just realizing that now. I hope that I didn't leave anything out.  If I left anything out please let me know. When I am writing a note or letter, I usually forget and end the letter before I say what it I want to say. See If I don't know how to say something I maybe leave it out or just stand there puzzled because I don't know how to say the words.  Please tell me if I did. Thank you so much everyone.   

Breathe in for a count of 4. Hold for a count of 6. Breathe out for a count of 7.

Here is a picture of a post of me venting. I don't know why though.  This is just a feeling I had.