My Blog

Why does everyone call me a spoiled little brat just because I have Selective mutism? All just because he thinks i have had a silver spoon stuck up my ass all of these years. Meaning that I have been living with my parents since I graduated high school. Maybe I just haven't grown up yet?   :(      I just makes me wanna run off and see what I am really made of. Can I really make it on my own or do I need some kind of protective assistance? I forgot what it's called. Not assisted living but..... I just thought of that word. It's supported living.  On scale of one to ten ten being the worsed and one none at all...... it would be an 8. I feel like I can never do anything due to selective mutism.   It is almost 1am and I'm still up.  9:05 on Sunday April 30, 2023 - Well I finally fell asleep at about 1:30am.  Well, I guess I have to prove to my dad that I can live alone in my own apartment.  And I know what he's thinking.........it bette...

Selective mutism holds me back from doing what I want. Well not selective mutism persay, but more like me not talking is more like it.  Just like why would I elect to not speak at all?  I want to speak. Just getting the words to come out is hard.  But hanging around Jason, I'm just starting to stick my foot in my mouth.  Just like the big belly. I got the big belly from hanging out with Jason all these years and I may have gotten hoof and mouth disease when I was hanging out with Jason for 26 or 27 years.  Do I?  Quite honestly I think I do say the wrong thing and stick my foot in my mouth quite often.  Sometimes it's more inappropriate and comes out as being rude.   What is that often called?  

I always look forward to exercising every day. It makes me feel so good when I get sore from a great workout!  I love all those endorphins that run in and out and around me.  But when I work out hard, I always gain weight at the end of the week.  It is so depressing that it makes me gain weight.  Those thoughts just make me want to just cry!!!  Especially if anyone else makes fun of my weight and when I gain.   Well can't think of anything else to say right now.  I will come back later and finish. 

I am trying to figure out what the reason for my hand and foot tapping is and I have come to a conclusion. It is simply a habit.  But on this wheel around "auditory processing difficulties", why do I see ASD, ADD and ADHD?  huh? I am listening. Is it that people who have ADHD or ASD or ADD also have auditory processing difficulties too?  Also the real problem is people who have selective mutism also have ADHD and or high-functioning autism.  That is the weird part.  All three are completely separate diagnosis.  Here is a picture of the wheel I found.  It is below the search picture. I have auditory processing difficulties.  Anxiety and Depression came with selective mutism.  Anxiety, Depression, and rest of them are just overlapping disorders around each other.  I have read something about ADHD and selective mutism on www.selectivemutism.org and on another site called www.selectivemutismcenter.org.  I just wanted to know what the ha...

I would like to do a little bit of dancing and acting but I have a problem with transportation. Who would be willing to take me or how will I take the city bus there?  I bet I would manage that part down.  I would also like to write my own book but, It would cost money.  I don't know where to start and everything is a scam when I start to do something that I think is interesting.  

Here is my goal. I tried it on youtube first for at least 10 minutes. It's called My goal 10 minute talk. I start speaking at 5:50.   

There was guy Robert Young. He made me do stuff when I was three that I wasn't comfortable doing!  But what was it?   I have never been more relieved to hear that he had died years later. I could be more thrilled to hear that he had died.  It was awful what he did to me. Would someone be thrown in jail for that?  Or he could have just yelled at me and or made me stay in a corner when I didn't even do anything.  Or it could have been my fault.  Then again, Robert Young yelled at his own kids and punished them.   I am not done yet with this.