Saturday April 29, 2023 | Depressed

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Why does everyone call me a spoiled little brat just because I have Selective mutism? All just because he thinks i have had a silver spoon stuck up my ass all of these years. Meaning that I have been living with my parents since I graduated high school. Maybe I just haven't grown up yet?   :(      I just makes me wanna run off and see what I am really made of. Can I really make it on my own or do I need some kind of protective assistance? I forgot what it's called. Not assisted living but..... I just thought of that word. It's supported living. 

On scale of one to ten ten being the worsed and one none at all...... it would be an 8. I feel like I can never do anything due to selective mutism.  
It is almost 1am and I'm still up. 


9:05 on Sunday April 30, 2023 - Well I finally fell asleep at about 1:30am.  Well, I guess I have to prove to my dad that I can live alone in my own apartment.  And I know what he's thinking.........it better be just me or I'm out of there again. :'(  I have you know that my sister diddddddd well actually she did tell mom that she was moving in with her then-boyfriend well only because she was going to marry him in the long run.


My older sister gets to do everything that I want to do and I can't do anything because I have selective mutism. I believe that I have undiagnosed ASD and ADHD.  I believe both disorders can be overlooked. Can it be overlooked?  I want to have it checked by another mental health professional just to have peace of mind and then I will not say another word about it. I swear to god.  
 

A lot of people living with  Autism and people living with ADHD are living by themselves.  Jason being one of them. He has only ADHD plus other things wrong with him. He claims his frontal lobes weren't all the way formed when he was born. I don't want to be making fun of people but he got his ADHD from his mother and probably his other things. I'm sorry what he's been through but he can also heal no that is a life long disorder. I feel so bad for Jason but he can make his ADHD or ADD symptoms alot better--- I mean more manageable and so can Jason's mother.  


I believe that there is a comorbidity in selective mutism and ADHD and that it was overlooked when I was a child. People can have both selective mutism and ADHD because I have read about it on www.selectivemutism.org. That is the official site of selective mutism.  When I want to know something I always go to that site.  

What I am jealous of is that everyone living with selective mutism has a car and is driving, got married, and even had kids. My parents believe that I can't because I have selective mutism and they are afraid that someone will take me or I will run away with someone.  I was kidding around when I tried to run away with ___.  I put a blank because I didn't want to freak someone out that used to want to be with me. He just doesn't want his wife to be hurt by him or at least by something that I said or did.  

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