My Blog

I have a question.  Why do I cry for no reason? or even why do I feel like crying for no reason?  How do I get the hell over it?  Because then if someone sees me and asks me why I have tears in my eyes I can't answer because I don't know the reason.   I think it could be menopause and yes, I can't forget anxiety. Women living with anxiety disorders is much worse for women going through menopause. 10 times worse. 

What is your happiest memory? My happiest memory is between spending the night with my granmaw when I was about 3 years old or spending the day with Nana--my dad's step-mother and taking care of and playing with her kittens. My earliest memory was when I spent the night with my granmaw at 3 years old.  Why did I think I suggested  we play Bert and Earney---is because Granmaw had to twin beds in her blue room.  The walls were painted blue.  I remember Granmaw would read a book before she went to sleep.  I think she would read to me when I was 3 but not real sure.     101 Gratitude Journal Prompts for Daily Thankfulness - Happier Human

I have a Gratitude page on Facebook.  I might have had this page since 2014 or 2015.  I think I remember creating it in 2014 though.  Here is my Gratitude page on Facebook:  (20+) Gratitude | Beaumont CA | Facebook .  I know it says Beaumont CA, but it's my page.  It is the one with the Positive Zone, No negativity allowed cover picture, it's pink and blue.   I need to know what I am doing that I piss people off on the internet?  Jason tells me that I piss people off on the internet and they get me back by hacking my bank account.  I don't know what to do or say about this.  What do I do?  I guess I will just learn to live with Jason and work around him.   I'm about to beat the shot out of Jason. Now he's saying that I don't deserve happiness because he is not happy. 

I am still stuck in a place where I can't do anything at all!!!  If I want to do something, I have to go into court.  Yeah, but someone will try anything at all to change my mind.  Yeah, but I will have to go into court at some point to change my money situation.  Well that was what she was talking about in that video in the law of attraction.  Let me find that video.  Here is the video:   https://youtube.com/shorts/5mI0FeK65Kc?feature=share

Today was the buddy walk. It was fun. It was downtown Beaumont at the Event Center. Do they have everything at the Event Center?  Like for instance the ASD Social event? What is the age limit?  I read on the site that it is 18 to 30.  

I need to know why I do the things I do?  Like tapping my hands and feet when there is no music.  Sometimes there is a tune and sometimes their is just annoying tapping as people say it is.  I don't know it until someone else asks me to stop doing it.  And five minutes later..... someone is asking me to stop doing that again.  It drives my mom and dad crazy.  I swear to god that I don't know that I am doing that!!!  So I come to the conclusion.... I really am not sure why I do the things I do.  I really don't want to blame anxiety but Honestly, I think it is because of anxiety.  

This title of a poem just popped out as a name of a song on YouTube.  "Maybe this Time".   Maybe this Time, I will succeed in life. Maybe this time, I will get an apartment. Maybe this time, He will come back to me and we'll become more than just friends. Maybe this time, I will learn to drive. Maybe this time, You never know. It could be so unexpected, as life is unexpected.