My Blog

I think it's worse because there are too many safety issues and much crime.  Bottomline is that kids in today's society have it way too easy.  Us kids in the 70's and 80's it was hard, especially on my part.  I struggled a lot!  

My dog Nicki Rose is a bit unpredictable. When she sees me cry, she just runs the other way. I’m trying to train her as a therapy dog, but I’m not sure she thinks much of me—except when I leave for the store, then she whines. It’s pitiful, but she’s adorable.   Happy, my cat, definitely has that typical cat attitude. I tend to pick her up even when she’s not in the mood, but sometimes she’ll want a little cuddle and affection. I’ll pet her and scratch under her chin, which she loves, until she meows to be put down. Then she’s fine for a few days. Overall, Happy is a pretty good cat, and Nicki is a good dog—except for those times she pees on my parents’ bed during thunderstorms or when it’s raining.

If I had a "do over" button, I would press it back to when I was three years old and manifest that I don't have selective mutism and auditory processing difficulties, and undiagnosed autism.  I really think that selective mutism started when I was roughly around age two.  I Just want to "do over" the times that Becky and Robert babysat me, Karin and Lisa.  But I guess Karin and Lisa were able to watch themselves when they were about 11 or 13 years old and I was left with Becky and horses ass Robert!  I remember all the rotten things that Robert did to me.  He made me, face a wall along with Amy and James.  I just didn't understand why he made me do that.  That is all I remember for now.  

If I could, I would look to someone else and they would tell me if they are nice or they are mean or a predator.  I would never talk to a predator.  I would block their ass faster than I can say no!  Yeah, I overlook their weirdness and see kind.  What else is there?  Help me out here.  

Yes!  I have said shit in class and my teacher Susan Collins was shocked that I said "shit".  But hey at least I said something!  Not what they wanted to even hear.  I could have forced myself to talk but that SM down in my throat made it hard to get the words out. I knew what I wanted to say but I couldn't get the words out.  I really don't think no one ever knew how to help.  I don't think I was on any anxiety medications until I was about 15 when I was put on Tegretol.  I was in the 9th grade at Westbrook 9th Grade Center.  When it was called Westbrook 9th.    I said I don't think that I was on any anxiety medications.  

I would like to think that I have inherited my grandmother's laugh.  I thought about this for while and come to the inconclusion that I am unable to think of anymore.   I have a couple of questions to ask.   1) Do I have people-pleasing behaviors? 2) Agreeing with other people to make them happy? 3) Do I let others decide things for me so I don't have to talk? again-I don't know emotions. 4) Do people think that I am childish or have childish behaviors? 5) Do I have autism masking behaviors? 6) If I am over-apologizing (when I can speak) to avoid being seen as rude? 7) I rehearse what I want to say but unable to get the words out in the moment.   I found out the examples of SM stims.   Here is what I do. 1) tapping feet quietly. 2) "speech stims" whispering to myself when I am alone but going silent around other people. 3) pressing my lips together (i don't think anyone has seen me doing that. they are trying to ignore it. which is good) 4) l...

I need to work extra hard. 😩  I do practice mindfulness meditation. 🧘‍♀️  I make an effort to relax my shoulders when I notice that they lift towards my ears.  👂  I do need to know if this is true about selective mutism and blood sugar?