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  🌱 2. Normalize your quietness so people don’t fill in the blanks Most people misread silence because they assume it means: anger judgment confusion disinterest unpredictability You can gently correct that by naming what your silence actually means: “Quiet for me means I’m processing, not upset.” “If I look away, I’m grounding myself so I can stay present.” “I listen better when I’m not making eye contact.” This gives people a map so they don’t invent their own story. 🌼 3. Give people a predictable pattern People feel safer when they know what to expect. You can offer a simple rhythm: “I usually need a few seconds before I respond.” “If I don’t answer right away, I’ll respond once I’ve processed.” “I communicate better in writing, so feel free to text me if something feels unclear.” Predictability reduces fear — not volume. 🌙 4. Use “I” statements that protect your dignity These keep the focus on your style, not on labels: “I process internally.” “I think before I speak.” “I l...

Phrases when my speech shuts down.  “Sometimes my speech shuts down in certain situations. I’m still listening and aware — I just need a different way to communicate.” “I communicate best when I have time to process. If I look away or get quiet, I’m still listening.” Or: “Sometimes I respond slowly or non‑verbally. It’s just how my brain works — not a sign that anything’s wrong.” Or: “If I don’t answer right away, I’m thinking. Silence is part of how I communicate.”

The time when I spent the night with my grandmother.  She called it spena-night with granmaw.  I spent the most time with my granmaw.  So she tried to teach me to make my bed up as soon as I get up.  Well apparently I was listening because I still do it to this day!  When I was three years old I spent the night with my granmaw and we played this game called Bert and Ernie.  We played board games too but this was more roleplay in acting thing that I could tell my family without explaining.  Now that I know that I struggle with trying to explain things.  I just avoid explaining things.  Another time that I spent the night with my granmaw was when I was three years old.  I was standing by my grandmother's couch and a thought came in my head about death.  I don't know where that came from.  It could have been from watching Golden Girls with my granmaw everytime I spent the night with her on a Saturday night.  My great-granmaw ...

Other people know me better than I know myself.  I don't know who knows me best.  With AJ, it was starting to get scary when I thought that AJ knew me better than I knew myself.  But I thought that it was not right for people like me to meet others online.  It is just not good.  People could take advantage of me.  No one even knows what I want, and I keep changing what I want.  My latest thing is that I want to volunteer with SMA, but I do not even know it is even legitimate.  I would have to get up early and get ready to go.  Oh wait... SMA is way too far away for me to be going to Houston Texas every day.  Mom can't be running me up there just to volunteer for about 3 days or so.  That is wasting gas going to and from Houston.  But there will always be that chance of someone firing me from another volunteer job.  I would have to get rid of Jason so he won't ruin anything to get me fired or something.  Ugh! go figure...

I would like more support for selective mutism and positivity in my life.  I would like less of negative people in my life.  It's getting bad when I have to take a hydroxizine when I go shopping at Walmart.  Then again I take one when I go to H E B too as it is so crowded.  How would I recognize negative people? Here is the thing.  Jason says that I use his computers to talk to people online and journaling instead of talking to him.  Is that a bad thing?  To Jason it is.  Jason's mother---Doni agreed with him to take back all his computers if I don't stop talking to other people.   If there was anyway that I could hang out with those who have selective mutism and autism then I could see how to act in certain situations.  Just don't get kicked out of that group, alright?  

Forget this whole dam thing about living in supported living because I simply can not handle myself in any situation. I give up on that!!!!!  I keep getting angry when things drop on the floor and it ends up being my fault anyway.