My Blog

I guess you probably figured it out that mold or mildew actually smells like cigarette smoke.  I am trying to figure out where it is and clean it up.  I am thinking it is close by the computer I am writing this blog from in the kitchen is the closet that it is coming from.  I guess I said that right?  I think we tackled the mildew in my big ass weird closet.  I hate that closet by the way.  It is way too big in there and it's too dark in there.  It's not the way you look at it.  The light does not work. That is why it is not on.  I once went in there and got a shirt out and then some leggings.  It turns out that I got the wrong color that didn't go with something.  The light was working and on before Hurricane Harvey.  It stopped working only after those stupid guys "martin and penn" slept on the floor in my room and I am thinking that one of those guys working had broken the light in the closet and faucet in the bathroom....

Deep questions to ask yourself for self-reflection include. What are my core values? My values are honesty and kindness.  But if you disrespect me, (laughs) watch out.  What truly makes me happy?  If I could overcome selective mutism a little bit to make me a bit more comfortable speaking around other people.  What are my greatest fears and how do they hold me back?  For starters, fears of getting into trouble with mom and dad like I did when ------- actually I learned from my sister what not to do. Now I am scared to do things without permission.  Now I'm getting too old because I waited too long because I was scared that I was going to get into trouble like my sister did when she was younger.   Am I living a life aligned with my priorities?  No.  I guess priorities mean that I need to meditate every day, do some journaling, inner peace, financial stability, feeling safe and calm.   What is my life's purpose?  I am kin...

I just wanted to say that my muscle pain doesn't hurt while I am exercising---but they hurt me hours later.  Actually they feel good while I am exercising.  I do have to take shower with peppermint body wash.  There is this peppermint body wash that Walmart is selling right now during the ber months.  September, October, November and December.   Today is Sunday and on Wednesday October 1 is selective mutism awareness month.  No that is not all.  On Wednesday October 1, I find out what my full body muscle pain is.  It is a thin layer of muscle pain all over my body from head to toe.  Like I said up there it doesn't hurt while I am exercising, it hurts me hours later.  No, that is not all my doctor saw something in the blood test that she had me get the day of my appointment.  So she is sending me to another doctor on October 1.  Why so long from in August? The short answer is I don't know.  

Does anyone with selective mutism or progressive mutism do self-talk not knowing that people can hear you? This works for me to just speak what I want to say even if I am speaking to my dog or my cat. I tell the comfort person to just feel free to chime in when I'm talking or whispering.  So far that is working for me. Just remember, all people are different. Please be patient with yourself and you got this!  AI google and Alexa also help if you are not afraid to even just whisper at first and then you will get louder and louder.  Oh that reminds me of a song by New Kids on the Block called "Whisper".  It is one of their new songs when they made a come back in 2008.  "Whisper" was one of their songs back in 2013.  I always have to buy NKOTB's new cd.  I need to have it in my hot little hands yeah, so I can rip it to the computer and listen from there.  

I would like to say that I am very motivated to get started on my tai chi and qigong challenge but it's the location where it's at on Magnolia street.  I have heard a lot about that street from my grandmother over the years, most of which have triggered me.  I don't think that my granmaw meant to trigger me.  It just happened.  If I can find a tai chi and qigong class on Dowlen Road that would be awesome!  

I have a personal mantra that I keep on my wall that I say every day when I have no words for anything.  It is "Where words fail, music speaks" . I love this sign.  I think I had bought the orignal picture at Hobby Lobby.  It does make me feel a bit more confident and empowered to at least speak to people when spoken to. But when they say something else that I don't understand, I just stand or sit there frozen.   When I am unable to speak, I listen to music, make bracelets and earrings, read.  I think journaling is out as that is the same as speaking.   Here is the sign below with another one I created recently.  I read the one above it every day.  Just like I read one at the hospital I was at when I was 10.  I belive it was Garfield diet tips.  I loved cats back then too.  I love cats but dogs have more empathy. Cats have no empathy whatsoever. Cats are like your anxious? psh! Whatever!  Dogs have more empathy than ...

It's hard for me to say what I am feeling like all the time.  It's hard for me to talk in certain situations and to certain people.  When I first suspected that I could have mild autism.  Yes, I said mild.  Well I want to say I was in my late 20's.  No one and I mean no one told me anything and there was no google and I wasn't interested back then to look up anything.    I was just in chatrooms.   Then after the myspace.com  and Joey Mcintyre situation, I wasn't interested in chatting online to anymore.  I see why... I was anxious after that stunt that the fake Joe Mcintyre pulled back in 2004 on myspace.com.  ugh!  I think it's safe to say that everyone else would be anxious too.   Yes no one told me anything.  I just suspected.  Something was wrong and I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was.  That is until I went to wikipedia and typed in the words "selective mutism".  I read quite a ...