Wednesday September 24, 2025 | How are you feeling?

It's hard for me to say what I am feeling like all the time.  It's hard for me to talk in certain situations and to certain people.  When I first suspected that I could have mild autism.  Yes, I said mild.  Well I want to say I was in my late 20's.  No one and I mean no one told me anything and there was no google and I wasn't interested back then to look up anything.    I was just in chatrooms.   Then after the myspace.com  and Joey Mcintyre situation, I wasn't interested in chatting online to anymore.  I see why... I was anxious after that stunt that the fake Joe Mcintyre pulled back in 2004 on myspace.com.  ugh!  I think it's safe to say that everyone else would be anxious too.  

Yes no one told me anything.  I just suspected.  Something was wrong and I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was.  That is until I went to wikipedia and typed in the words "selective mutism".  I read quite a few paragraphs and then I saw something called autism right in the middle of an article about selective mutism.  I thought why would autism be in an article about selective mutism?  Hmmm?  I always suspected that I have autism on top of my selective mutism and auditory processing difficulties.  I say difficulties because disorder sounds so permanent.  There is no cure for APD but I have found ways to work around it.  Turning on the captions on the tv and youtube.  Turning on "read aloud" on ebooks.  There have been no "read aloud" on ebooks when I wanted to read that books.  Having the book read to me as I follow along really does help me.  It's that auditory processing that makes me not understand things that people say and what I read.  That didn't make any sense did it?  Auditory processing is in the brain, the amygdala.  I would like to say that auditory processing is like a hard-of-hearing person except their brain is deaf not ears itself.  Does that make any sense?