My Blog

1. I can handle any challenge. 2. I am a fast learner. 3. I believe in myself. 4. I can ask for support. 5. I am doing the best I can and that is enough for today. 6. I am uniquely made. 7. I am brave. 8. I am worthy of all the blessings that are coming my way. 9. I can overcome this. 10. I am in charge of my anxiety. 11. I love and approve of myself. 12. I am relaxing each part of my body. 13. I choose positive and nurturing thoughts. 14. I am on my own unique path.

Well....  awful.  I keep stress eating because I'm anxious all the time.  Now I have prediabetes and I am afraid to eat anything because I'm going to raise my blood sugar.  

My goals in life?  My goals might could be lowering my blood pressure and blood sugar naturally.   I would like to improve my communication.  Like knowing what to say and how to say it. Stuff like that.  Other goals could be to manage time management and saying no when I don't feel comfortable.  I would like someone to define public speaking?  Is that like while I'm in public or is it just doing a speech like for example: TedXTalks?  Oh I love to watch those talks on YouTube.  Very informative!  I just don't know if they are true so I don't really believe what they say.  They are just fun to watch though.  TedXTalks say that they do have to tell the truth though, but I don't know if I should believe that either.   I also want to try a new type of workout.  You are asking what a new type of workout is?  The simple answer is I have find it and it has to be legal and what people can understand.   I'll...

Is this an anxiety attack that when you go to sleep at night and in the middle a deep sleep you start gasping for air?  I do wake myself up.  If it is then I have been having those anxiety attacks for awhile now. I would scream to wake myself up back in the 80s and 90s.  If it is, then I have been having anxiety and panic attack for a long time.  

Well.... people thought I was a sweet girl.  The kids at the old school Wilbanks Elementary school,  (now BISD office).  thought that I was pretty weird.  They said that I weird too--especially this kid named Paul Beaumont.   I would like to look at it like they were jealous but really, they didn't want to be me.  They didn't want to be known as the quiet girl, who couldn't physically talk, who couldn't do anything and who couldn't get the words out.  So they said that I was rude. Once those kids said that I didn't have any teeth but that was not true.  When I got a little older and was in the 9th grade those kids at Westbrook 9th kids at that school said that would go all the way on a first date and they said at Central 9th that I bit someone's sister.  Those were also not true either.  I couldn't date anyone because I physically couldn't talk.  

Below is my Journal prompt and a reply that I asked my viewers opinion on.  What do you think?  Do you think that I may have been traumatized by the selective mutism?  I believe that my aunt Tanya back in the 80s would yell and scream at her own kids and at her sister's kids and sometimes at me and my sister. That really really scared me.  Especially after I was diagnosed with selective mutism when I was 4.  I wonder if that would be trauma?  I hated when people would yell, scream and fight with each other.  It was traumatizing?   All of this just popped into my head with my dad's side of the family.  Every thanksgiving we would go over there to Houston and spend the night or day.  One weekend me and my sister and our parent's went over there to Houston and when we got back home, there were so many ant bites around our ankles where our socks were.  I just remembered that part.  Well I may have selective mutism, but I do he...