My Blog

Well my friend came to visit and she brought me cramps and really bad period farts. That is what google called them! LOL!    

Well my friend came to visit me today.  The best part is she did not bring cramps, but she did bring depression.  I will never do anything that I want.  I will never ever try that apartment thing again.  :'(   I just want to try that apartment thing one more time before I go into a nursing home when I older as I turn 80 years old.  :'(   Laugh and I will deck ya!  lol!  👀   I still think that I have autism considering that I do have Selective Mutism.  The two disorders are similar but two different disorders.  I do have this book called The Selective Mutism Resource Manual and it has a page or two about ASD and I saw a few of my symptoms.  I think I have autism but it is only mild.  I probably have a relatively mild case of autism.  The article about it--is in that book.      

Every so often I would get in these moods feel like I want to give up and die. I feel like this.... well actually it's no where near time for me to um... for the friend to visit.  The week before she brings cramps and low-back pain but everything else is from Selective Mutism. I guess intrusive thoughts are from the Selective Mutism?      I have been struggling with not being able to do anything because of Selective Mutism.  How do I get out of the depressed state that I can't do anything because of Selective Mutism?  

I am a terrible blogger!!!  Today I have never felt so bad for myself.  I have NO confidence whatsoever!!!!   I wish I had the confidence to go out and get a job that I could do.  But in the end I would end up with a retail job and end up puking my guts out every day and still going into work. :'(      What do I like to do?  I love to read and know more about mental health but considering what other people told me that I would need to talk to be able to do that, I give up on it. Just like I gave up on singing or acting.  Besides, how would I get everyone to like me?  There is a point there. 

Going through a lady time for three weeks out of the month is really not as acceptable as not being able to speak due to Selective Mutism. That sounds like it makes more sense to me. Don't you think? 

Well hello there June. My hip still hurts but the pain is moving all around in different places. 

Yesterday on May 29, I was feeling a big nauseated. Could it be that everything was going back to normal after coronavirus?  I am really not hungry in the mornings though.