My Blog

I am a terrible blogger!!!  Today I have never felt so bad for myself.  I have NO confidence whatsoever!!!!   I wish I had the confidence to go out and get a job that I could do.  But in the end I would end up with a retail job and end up puking my guts out every day and still going into work. :'(      What do I like to do?  I love to read and know more about mental health but considering what other people told me that I would need to talk to be able to do that, I give up on it. Just like I gave up on singing or acting.  Besides, how would I get everyone to like me?  There is a point there. 

Going through a lady time for three weeks out of the month is really not as acceptable as not being able to speak due to Selective Mutism. That sounds like it makes more sense to me. Don't you think? 

Well hello there June. My hip still hurts but the pain is moving all around in different places. 

Yesterday on May 29, I was feeling a big nauseated. Could it be that everything was going back to normal after coronavirus?  I am really not hungry in the mornings though.  

Like I said I'm a bad blogger. I haven't felt much like typing/talking.  I can't say my feelings. I am not good at it. I don't know-how.  When I do, I end up backspacing it out and starting over!  :'(  I will try now.  I have been having anxiety lately and I don't know why.  Not because of my monthly.  It is nowhere near that time.  

I'm having anxiety. My babygirl peed on the floor and my babygirl, jordan is about 11. Well she was about 2 years old when I got her from the pound. She helps me with my anxiety and panic attacks. 

I guess this a bad time to say that the Raccoons broke my air conditioner. Last time I did that when it was that time of month for me. You know that lady time? The friend came to visit. Would you say it was an anxiety attack where I feel like everyone is out to get or was it more anger? During my time of month, when my "friend" comes to visit it makes me do things. Or is it more like things that social anxiety makes me do?  You know what? I don't think it's my ummm that "lady time" you know the "friend" visits. I just had a bit of those depression thoughts and I just finished up ummm that umm the "lady time of month". I had those thoughts of not being good enough and not  I don't know if could call it an anxiety attack or anger. If it is an anxiety attack, then I have very violent ones!!! If it is anger then I don't know.  Or could it have been both? Anxiety attack and anger?  Yes, I did take an ativan.