My Blog

Jason making up reasons why I got kidney stones.  His reasons were stupid and making me upset!  He said the reason why I got kidney stones was unreasonable!  It was because my body's kidneys and all it's little organs were small and I have a 5'3" tall body and they could not handle me being overweight.  If that is the real reason then I'll believe someone else who says that NOT JASON!  Jason also kept telling me that if you get kidney stones or gall stones you have them forever and they are rolling around in you forever.  He said that I have to stop eating that food or drink forever! So I guess I was diagnosed with gall stones and kidney stones?   I guess I do have to stay away from whatever food created that forever.  I guess the only thing that is safe for me to drink is WATER.    I never got any of the common symptoms of kidney stones.  The only symptom I got later was nausea.          

 Friday night I went to the ER for cramps in my lower right side of my abdominals.  At first I thought it was an appendix. But as it turned out I had very small kidney stones as they said I had blood in my urine. Then I felt the need to mention that my friend came to visit and she brought me also horrendous lower stomach cramps.  So it was a double whammy.  :'(  If you think just period cramps are bad, try having kidney stones and period cramps!  Not a fun thing!  Also I had an anxiety attack about getting admitted into the hospital for lower abdominal cramps in the right side of my abdominals.  In the end, I think the pizza triggered the kidney stone.  I had a bad pms week and ended the week with a kidney stone and on my monthly.    Now I just have bad period cramps while on my monthly.   Pain for period cramps now: 0 Pain for kidney stones at the moment: 0 Of course, my blood pressure went up when I had an anxiety attack...

What I think I want for my kitchen is that I saw this butterfly-shaped sunflower and it is a wire wall decor on wayfair.com.    For my living room, I think I want a turquoise sofa.  You only live once right?   For my bedroom, my bedspread will be a pretty aqua color.  My bathroom is definitely a light color pink.   These colors are the ones my "inner child" is like picking.   Perhaps I should get a poster board and make a dream board and see if it all comes true.  

I think I'm ready for supported living with someone who is selective mutism specialist. 

This makes me depressed!  Why do I always get everyone else's holey towels?  I got my sister's holey towels when we were staying with them during hurricane harvey.  I got my mom's old towels when she got new towels!  What is the deal with this?  Why can't I get new towels?  Is it because I snuck Jason into my apartment when I was living at Seville Apartments and Marcy found out and busted me?!   

I guess if I were to rate the anxiety and depression from about 1 to 10.  Ten being the absolute worst and one being not at all.  I would say the anxiety is at a 10.  Well if the anxiety is at a ten then I feel like I can't do anything so the depression is at least a um.... I would say at least a 7.    

I have gained nothing but concentration and focus a little bit. I lost anger from practicing meditation. Meditation is great for your mental health! Pamela Ann Wyatt I still have anxiety, because after all Selective Mutism is an anxiety disorder! I still have depression and insecurity and fear of old age and death.  Like  ·  Reply  ·  1m Active Pamela Ann Wyatt Every now and then, like last night I started thinking about death and old age and that I only get one chance to make life great and I blew it all up into pieces with getting the Selective Mutism bug.  That fear of death and old age at age 3 was the worst of it.   I don't know who told me or maybe I over heard it. (shut up jason, you were not there and don't tell me what I was feeling and how selective mutism is) Just shut up  Jason !     That was how I was feeling at the age of three and even now I guess. Probably how I developed Selective Mutism in the first place wa...