My Blog

Friday August 7, 2020 -  Well my swollen ankles and feet was really a sprained ankle.  It looks like I am going to have to take it easy for awhile and prop up my ankle in my recliner.  I will however do exercises that does not require the use of my ankles.  Perhaps standing abs and take it easy on the ankles.             Well this is just great!  I had a computer mouse wear out on me during the coronavirus.  I am down to two mouses. If the other two wear out, I'm screwed!  I have no more mouses!!!!! :'(  

A couple of weeks ago my right ankle and foot was hurting for about a week. I massaged my right angle and foot.  It stopped hurting and now my left foot and ankle is hurting.  I guess my body is doing it's thing or something. Like it just does what it wants to do.  LOL!  That is what think.  My body gains weight and like loses weight whenever it feels like it.  I am doing something about it to make my ankle and foot feel better. I am putting peppermint essential oil on my ankle and foot.  It's like ahhhhhh that feels better. :)  I haven't yet massaged my left foot and ankle yet.  I am just going to though.  I thought it was really weird that my right ankle and foot was hurting first for one week and then my left foot and ankle started hurting.  One foot/ankle and then the other. Never both.  I guess my body just does what it wants to do whenever it feels like it. Especially when it is my time of the month.   Why do I ...

My friend came to visit me yesterday and I thought "uh oh! I need to visit the toilet" as I thought that out loud.  Clark the bug guy was upstairs at the time spraying for bugs.  Then he went back downstairs as he was finished upstairs.   You know a woman's period gets worse when a woman has an extreme anxiety disorder.  Her mood gets so bad.  Well at least my mood gets so bad.   Well my anxiety was about a 10 at it's worst!  I was getting irritated because I was feeling fat.  I was a lot depressed. I had intrusive thoughts like thoughts of death but that is only while my friend comes to visit. She brought cramps also.  :'(  I laid down in my recliner under my weighted blanket and felt a little better.  My mood is little better today than it was yesterday.  Why do some woman on anxiety disorders have worse periods than other women?  I guess things happen for a reason. :-/  I was even irritated when I was doi...

I am exercising regularly.  Why am I increasing weight?  answer from Google:   When you  exercise  regularly,  your  body stores more g lycogen to fuel that  exercise . Stored in water, glycogen  has  to bind with water as part  of the  process to fuel  the  muscle. That water adds  a  small amount of  weight , too. Here is the link also:   https://health.clevelandclinic.org/just-started-exercising-gaining-weight/#:~:text=When%20you%20exercise%20regularly%2C%20your,small%20amount%20of%20weight%2C%20too. I really don't need to exercise.  Unless I am planning to run a 5K. I don't know why I am exercising, I guess to gain fitness. I guess.   This morning I had a really negative attitude I guess it was because I was on my monthly.  I 

    Saturday, August 1 2020  How am I going to say this?  I am having intrusive thoughts about how to accidentally get caught in something and then dying.  What does that mean?  It is really bothering me now.     Sunday, August 2, 2020, I had a panic attack in my sleep. All i know is that i could not breathe. I had trouble catching my breath. When i woke up it was 4am i had to pee so i drank cold water then. Then i got back in bed.  I got back in bed and fell back asleep. Had a nightmare about my cousin on my dad's side of the family. Can't remember what that was about. Except that they were not safe.  I wonder if my cousin is safe?  Then I dreamed about my nephew. I dreamed there was a shooting in downtown Beaumont right where they were going and didn't know. I knew about it but didn't know how to tell them except writing it down.  I wonder if my nephew is safe?  I know I should not be dreaming stuff like this but it...

Friday July 31, 2020  I am fighting those anxious thoughts and fighting to eat one of those m&m's.  I allow myself four or five m&m's but that is all.  You can't deprive yourself do you know what I mean?  I mean what can four or five m&m's do, right?  Now the coke. I'll maybe wait until Saturday to drink.  For the most part, I do fight off those anxious thoughts. As on other days, I just say screw it and get under my weighted blanket or hold Jordan or hold my reborn.   Now I see where I got my anxiety from?  My mom!  But I don't know where I get my Selective Mutism from.  I am thinking I got it from my dad's real mother.  Well my a/c was fixed.  I don't know They need more room to put the um... I don't know what they are called--- they are big round things that are up in the attic. but he took them up into the attic but it's part of the a/c process.  So they cut a bigger hole like more of a rectangle....

Today I got the A/C fixed. I took my dog walking and to the park. Then I walked one lap and then me and Jordan walked back.  Jordan had her tongue hanging out and panting.  I almost did.  But now my glutes and low back and not to mention my shoulders hurt.  I also got sunburned. I should have put sunscreen on.