Saturday December 27, 2025 | Journal Prompt | 100 Mindful Prompts | Journal Prompt Cards for self care and stress relief | How can you live your life to find peace in death?

I got this from a journal prompt card.  "The leading cause of death is birth".  This I believe makes no sense to me whatsoever.  How can I live my life and find peace is to do what I am supposed to do and not fudge up.  Do what I think is right.  Correction. Do what other people think is the right thing to do is what I am trying to say.   Here is a quote I found on a card 100 mindful prompts.  I think it makes no sense to me.  "If you die before you die, you won't die when you die".  Makes no sense.  Why am I always afraid to reinvent myself for the first time over the age of 50?  I know that I can't leave the city of Beaumont and the state of Texas, I get that. As so the courts have mentioned in their documents. I guess this is why we go to the courthouse every year.  Oh I hate not being normal.  I wish I hadn't gotten selective mutism in the first place!!!  Right now, I would have a car and house and would be married and maybe a couple of kids.  That just sounds ridiculous coming out of me so I shouldn't have said that!!!     So I have to reinvent myself for the first time right here in this house upstairs but it's such a hassle to do this.  I don't think that I can change a routine because of mom and dad can't stand change.  They don't want to change their routine around and they don't want to go out driving in the dark because they can't see.  And I am also scared of the dark.  I should have done this in my 20's but I was way too scared to.  I didn't want to jeopardize anything.  

No, not done yet.  I do meditate but I still get angry and I am still negative. I get angry in a way that makes me do these ugly facial expressions.  My dad has seen me do them.  I really don't know that I do these facial expressions until my dad says something. I ask others if they do these expressions and they say yes, sometimes. I look at their face when they are doing something and nope they don't do anything of the sort as what my dad demonstrated.   I just have to wait and see if someone notices a change that I have changed.  No one will notice so screw it!