Sunday January 1, 2023 | Everything?

It seems like that I want to do everything but I don't have the kind of money to do so. I want a Maddie by Bonnie Brown reborn then I want a silicone reborn baby.  When I was in junior high or even high school I wanted a baby someday, but now not so sure. I don't even have the capability to do so.  For starters, I am too immature and I am so naive and insecure.  For me to bring up that topic for a selective mutism individual. It seems like just the other day my dad was saying to my mom that I would be married with 6 kids if I could talk.  Yes, he is probably right that is.  Also, If I could talk, I would be able to travel the world, be on my own, get married and have at least one baby.  Chances are it wouldn't have selective mutism, I don't think?  And now?  I am so old and crusty down there that it is dried up down there and that the baby will end up having down syndrome or something. Or worse than that Selective Mutism and I know what it is like to have that. AWFUL!  It feels awful!!! :'(  There are days that are worse than other days.  Some of those days I just want to crawl under my weighted blanket and stay there.