Sunday August 29, 2021 | PANIC ATTACK and Self Harming

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 I had a 15 or 20-minute panic attack of realizing that I don't have any money and no way of because no one understands me and my Selective Mutism. and they don't understand my anxiety/panic attacks!!!  No way of working or doing anything.  Because like I said, my family thinks that people are going to take advantage of me just because of my Selective Mutism! I think this is why they are keeping me on a tight leash!!!!!  People can't control what other people do so my family just keeps me on a tight leash instead!!!

Changing the subject---today is the anniversary of Hurricane Harvey!!!!  That was terrible.  OMG!  I still can't forget it.  My parents got about 4 foot of water in their house--but my half of the house was dry.  They lost everything but the clothes on their back.    

8:30pm-- I self-harmed again. :'(   I am not sure what triggered it.  Why do we self-harm?  I just want to keep that between me and him and I promised him I wouldn't self-harm again.  I need a little help not to do that anymore.  I really don't want to lose AJ.  I like him a lot!!!  But even more, I love a man who cries.  It's.... It shows that they are sensitive?  Please help me out here.  And also I made Jason cry. Is that a good thing or bad thing that I made Jason cry?  I guess it's a good thing since all those times Jason's made me cry.  


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