Thursday July 1, 2021 | Depression

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Yesterday June 30   I had well it seemed like a deep depression. Well I have been having this all week this week.  I did stream two videos of dance cardio exercises.  One cardio dance and one was a indoor walking workout.  Sharona's Hill  is her user name on youtube.  She is just a regular youtuber.  She is a regular person with anxiety and I am not sure with depression. I do pretty good keeping up with her walking workouts with exercises.  Afterall, she did say she is 25.  

Is it just me or does anyone else feel like they are 25 again when they are doing cardio/dance exercises and do not want to stop.  Then again, I have to stop to um recover from cardio/dance.  

After the dance cardio workouts in the morning and in mid-afternoon, the depression came back.  It was the same thing I was thinking about before the cardio/dance workouts. It was about where am I going to be in like 5 or 10 years.  I want to be in an apartment with a supported living arrangment that is a Selective Mutism professional.  

Look hard at this. What is wrong with left side (hot water side)? I had to push it all the way back to turn it off and it still won't go off. I guess I should have had this Pamela proof the faucet in the bathroom when I had paid for the whole upstairs to be redone, huh? I know, this is all my fault. Well this is about 3 years no wait.... it was redone in 2014 and this is 2021. I'm sorry, I don't know that math. Can someone calculate that for me, please? I need a whole new bathroom. Can I just move and then I can help you clean up here and then move back in. Well hell! I already did that once and it never worked out. Remember? I don't think it will ever, ever, ever work out again. I know, I'm sorry about everything that happened. I'm sorry that I messed up everything. I don't think that will ever happen again. It's all my fault!
The depression. I guess it is at at a 10 and and anxiety is about a 10 and my throat hurts like there is something in my throat. :'(

That picture below is a picture of my sink and the hot water side is worse and a fresh cherry fell down into the drain. How in the hell do I get it out? Nevermind, I think the fresh cherry rotted out of there. Oops!  I thought I was going to pitch fork it out of there but I think it rotted in there and fell out of there. Oops! 




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