I'm scared

-
I'm scared.  It is 3 years until I am 50. I dont want to stay in this house forever! And I dont want to live with my sister. I'm not happy. I will never be happy! 😢  I want to learn self care with learning how to drive but actually going out on the road and doing a road test but that is it.


Then soon I will be 60.....and 70. I will be all alone. :'(   I moved into the house I'm in when I was 25 and I'm tired of it!  I should have told them that I wanted to move out when I was 25.  The anxiety is already at a 10.  I'm tired of this house. I'm scared of getting older.  I'm already overweight like over 250 I think. I'm afraid of wrinkling. Jason is um... was bugging me move but I think he's accepted the fast that I'm here forever.  And he's used to me not doing anything because he's like protecting me. Hes. Ahhhhhhh 


Why do people always make me feel so bad?  Jason made me feel so bad. First I felt anxious then I felt like I was going to die. Is that an anxiety attack/panic? 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sunday August 25, 2024 | My dream on Saturday night August 24 | Hypnosis for selective mutism

-
I had a dream that I was in the hospital in Galveston Texas like the one I was in when I was 10 years old.  Working on getting rid of SM through hypnosis.  Is there a good hynosis therapist in Beaumont Texas who specializes in selective mutism?   I am determined to overcome selective mutism now or at least most of the way.  Some idiot told me that I won't be able to overcome SM entirely.  Ugh!  Or will I be able to overcome SM entirely?  
Read more

Wednesday August 28, 2024 | Do parent's say this to their kids who have a disability? (the highlighted words in this blog)

-
Got this from copilot from the question I asked, " would people pleasing be an example of "you don't want to disappoint mom do you"? "   Is this true?   Sorry I had a flash back of my dad saying that question phrase that is highlighted in yellow.    (A phrase that my dad said to me when I was 3 and 4 years.)  Ah, the delicate dance between parental expectations and a child’s desire to please! 🕺🌼 Let’s waltz through this topic, shall we? “You don’t want to disappoint mom, do you?” —a phrase that can carry both love and a subtle weight. It’s like a mini emotional tug-of-war, with the child caught in the middle, clutching their teddy bear and pondering life’s mysteries.   Here’s the scoop: The Mom Guilt Tango : Parents often mean well when they say this. They want their child to succeed, be kind, and make them proud. It’s like they’re handing the child a bouquet of expectations, hoping they’ll bloom into the perfect little sunflower....
Read more

Friday February 7, 2025 | Anxiety Disorders and Diabetes

-
I knew this when I was 5 and no one had to tell me this. So is this really true? But because I have selective mutism, my learning challenging and people think that I am stupid. It is that communication thing that people think that I'm stupid. I know the highlighted and BIG LETTERS SOUNDS unreasonable, I just want to get across to people that I am anxious all the time! Do I have to start cursing for you people to hear me? I will. I know that BIG MOTHER OF ALL CURSE WORDS. I bet no one knew that did they? Actually, I got it from those kids at the hospital in Galveston when I was in the hospital back in 1984. So I knew about that word when I was about 9 or 10 years old. Actually when I was 4 years old I felt like I didn't belong because I was trying to tell myself how or where I got my selective mutism and I felt that way for a long time. Maybe my dad has ADHD? Perhaps my parents have ADHD and it somehow turns into autism in children? High-functioning Autism. I th...
Read more