Depressed, feeling down, anxious

Tuesday July 7 8:00pm  -  I almost self-harmed today.  I computer monitor went out and thought it did go out turns out that my computer shut down on my ass! :'(  I started to self-harm and thought I should take an ativan.   I felt like dumping this computer out the window and buying a new one!  How do I feel now? I feel shaky and anxious!  

This morning I was exercising and I saw myself in my cameras webcam and I thought there was no way that I would lose back down to my goal weight which is 150 pounds. So I cried and cried. I dropped my weights and jordan jumped out of her bed. I ran over and hugged her and felt a little better but not really. :'(