My Blog

Self Discovery means the world to me.  It is probably the same as self-love. It is very important that self-discovery and self-discovery is I think more like self-love.  

Originally written on: July 22, 2008   Re-edited on: August  21, 2008   Written by: PW       One night my sister, her husband and kids were on their back porch watching her gray tabby when suddenly the gray kitten ran around to the front and across the street.  Their kids ran after and then their mother ran frantically after them. The gray tabby got run over and became a flat cat.  The three of them started crying their eyes out.  Their 7 year old daughter was frantic and the 8 almost 9 year old was crying too.  Then there was a gray cloud that came above them and my face appeared and said, “I told you so! You should have had him neutered.”  Then I pointed my finger and turned my sister into a cow, and my niece and nephew into cute little pink pigs.  Then mom turned into the driveway and almost had a BF.  The car came to a stop and she got out and said, “Turn your sister back from a cow and your niece and nephew back from ...

What makes me unique is that I want to do whatever I want to do. I kinda want to march to the beat of my own drum but also follow the rules/or laws or I'll get myself kicked out of an apartment or land in jail.  My mom said this and probably got it from Granmaw because she said it in the past alot.   "lift that barge tote that bell, get a little drunk and you land in jail" or something like that.  

What are my biggest goals and dreams?  Sure, start out small and do the small things like taking a walk to the park with my dog three times a week. That can be an easy goal.  Or making an effort to earn my way way back to apartment living or even living in a townhouse.  I always want to learn to dance but never got the courage to do so or stand up to the people I live with and say I could act out on stage. Actually it depends.  No one really thought I could volunteer to be an actress. Well that is what it is called BCP.  You volunteer there and start from the bottom and work your way up.  

I was wondering if I can move into a house with Jason?  Or No?  He changed a lot when his mother got a hold of him.   It's not like AJ cares what I do anymore since he's about to be married again and this time to Jennifer the one who has three boys and a girl jasmine.  I do still love AJ. I want him to leave Jennifer and come back to me but I don't think that he will.  :'(  

Five things that I love about myself are my boobs, the girls, chachies, chakas. I also love my butt and my hair.  I love the way I exercise and I love the way I march to the beat of my own drum. Oh what the heck does that mean anyway?  I heard my grandmother say it and then I heard my mom say it too.  I just want to do things my way without anyone telling me how to do it but I don't mind a little guidance or what is the word I'm looking for?  

I am feeling emotionally, physically and spiritually anxious in this moment because I am going on a cruise to Panama Canal in 9 1/2 months. I guess that is how you say it.  Well the cruise is in January.  Somewhere around January 13th.  I just hope that I'm not on my period around that time.  That would totally suck BIG TIME!  I want to check with a doctor to see if it is normal for a woman's periods to be heavy right before they go through or 12 months before she gets to menopause one last time?  Did I ask that right?   I read somewhere that (i think) Julie's story (story about someone's periods) that women who have anxiety. No wait...... it was on anxietycentre.com that women who have anxiety disorders such as selective mutism are ten times more likely to have it worse during menopause.