My Blog

I'll just let him be. And just listen to music all day. One of which is Hangin Tough by NKOTB.   I would like to say it gives a message to hang tough through all the negative stuff people say and to listen to people but not listen to all the negative stuff that people say. How would I know what the positive stuff people say? How would I know what negative stuff people say? 

Jason told me that AJ was just a summer/fall fling and that he was happy where he is.  Then I asked him that and he said yes. He is happy.  Okay. I think I will leave him alone now.  I won't ever bother him ever again since I know that he's happy.   Well I'm sad because AJ gets to do whatever the hell he wants to do and I just have limits to what I can do!!!  AJ won't read this blog, I'm sure of it.  So I will not worry about what I write.  (I think)  Since I couldn't get an apartment, he just left me and basically told me it was over. And I am just telling bits and pieces of the story as I remember it. Yes I know I leave sh*t out. Why? Because I cant remember it. So sue me. I dont have money for him to take or for the judge to basically just give to him. No please dont sue me. Actually my mom and dad would have a cow!!!! My mom thinks that AJ is a scam. Me? I dont think it matters what I think. My mom will still think he is a scam until the ...

If he ever comes back, my parents and my sister will never be able to look him in the eye.  But I forgive him always!  Well that is all I have to say for right now.  I'll be back later.  

I have figured this all out!  Okay, since I am unable to ask him, I will just assume that I just got to close to him and he couldn't handle it anymore. He then broke up with me and said he wanted to be just friends.  I will just let him be.  If wants to talk to me can.  But for now, I will just let him be. :)   I also wrote put together all of my poems in a document on google docs because that is all have. I dont have any word processors anymore. Some idiot installed a word processor that really hate.  

 Dammit!  I hate this guardianship they have on me but I'm going to have to live with it. I read this on the ARC of Beaumont Website.  Ugh!!!! I have a guardianship what really does this mean?  Down below is what it says about it. So if I want to I will have to court to get it changed? Or do I stay home and be a friend to that person and not make any changes to my single status?  See? I may I have selective mutism, but I am certainly not stupid.  BUT, the courts are afraid someone might abuse me or take my money away?  Yeah.  I know a lot more then they give me credit for!!!  It is just the speaking that I have problems with.   What does guardianship mean? Under guardianship, you can lose your rights to: Drive Choose where you live Choose where you work Vote Get married Make your own medical decisions And more. All people need help to make important decisions. If you need extra help to make decisions, your rights should not be taken...

If anyone did anything to me that would trigger my selective mutism,  I would say that it was Robert Young, Becky Young's husband from a long time ago.  I was about 3 years old then I guess.  See The Young's would babysit me, my sister and I plus watch their two kids at the time.   Abuse or threatening talk?  I know that Robert Young had threatened my sister and my aunt when they were younger. But I was 5 years younger than my sister and 7 years younger than my aunt.   I will not forget about this until I know if whatever he did to us could have triggered my selective mutism.  I want to know if whatever he did caused trauma and trigger selective mutism?    

No one knows what I want to do because I won't tell them. Did it ever occur to them that I don't know how to tell them without getting angry?  Because knowing me, I would probably get angry if they didn't agree with me what I would say.  They would say no I don't think so you can't do that because you have to be able to talk to even do that.