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I think I did something to make him mad.  and he regrets ever meeting me. :'(  

Is he mad at me because I cant physically talk. I want to talk. This is so frustrating!!!! Why is this so hard? I feel I want to give up. 

Is he really living with his parents in Seattle Washington?  So he told me that his parents died in a car accident, so um.... yeah.  Or is that his step-parents he is living with in Seattle?  I like talking to him though.  Now I'm starting to get scared.  :'(   Plus, he was in a moving truck that literally hit me, my mom and dad. If my dad hadn't swerved off of the road to he would have hit us head on.  If I had been wearing my seat belt, I would have been dead!!!  :'(   I can still see my ass tumbling around in that van. I literally went flying across the van to the passenger side of the front seat. I was drinking a diet pepsi and eating skittles and that went everywhere. Now I can't eat or drink them at all now as it reminds me of the stupid accident!   All I saw was a big yellow penski moving truck.   I don't know how to spell it but it was the same truck that AJ was moving in when he was moving to Kansas....

What if I were to get an apartment by myself and then do something that no one else would even think of doing, what would you do?   Like what if I hid someone inside my new apartment, what would you do?   Then they would be so mad at me. I would get mad because they got mad. No, would not get mad because I would have someone there to calm me down from the attack. My mom would ask why did I do it?  I would get scared and say I don't know.  I would ask AJ help me and of course he would help me.   Actually it did happen not only once but twice when I was at Seville Apartments in apartment number 303.  Jason spent the night not only once but twice.  When Jason spend the night that first time, I told mom that Jason was meeting me at IHop that Saturday morning.  Actually we messed around a little bit but then watched a movie called the Smurfs.  I kept falling asleep though. We slept together the first time he spent the night.  W...

I am looking at a house that is being built on the next street literally behind me on San Bruno.  I mean I am literally watching from my bathroom out of the hallway window.  Now tell me, if I can see it and can believe it then I do it.  Then also here is a negative thought, and if I have the money for it--then I can do it.   I really can see myself living in that house!!!  Now it's all the matter of believing that I can do it!  The only problem is that I don't know if someone is building that house for another family to live in or what.  I certainly don't want to buy someone else's house if they are building it for them.  Now if they are going to sell it and it's within my budget and mom or dad says it's okay then yes, I can buy or rent it.  

How do I make someone happy and help?  I may not have any money left after I help that person.  I will be broke for the rest of my life and will be struggling to make ends meet!  I will never be able to live on my own if I keep spending money like water!!!!  I need to learn to save money.  :'(   I can't have my cake and eat it too................. means that I can't help someone and get my own house or apartment.  It does not work that way.  :'(  

I will never let him go.  I love him too damn much to do that.  I promise that I will never abandon him like he says that everyone else did.  I love him too much.  For the most part, I am a good listener.  I may not understand some things. I will ask what he said if I am able to. :)  One thing about a selectively mute individual is that they won't tell anyone else what that person says.  Because that anxiety won't let them. I think I know what my family will say.  I will help him deal with his anxiety but in a healthier way.  but how?  I don't know.  Any suggestions?