My Blog

Does anyone else's mind tell you stuff that isn't true?  (Example:  Like what if you have cancer) and Does anyone else's mind tell them that their body parts will be amputated?  :'(  That scares the sh*t out of me.  There is this one lady on youtube, (poor girl) that lost her hand in a boating accident.  Her hand ripped off in a boating accident.   I feel really sorry for her.  As far as I know, she is still a dancer even without a hand.  She is also an actress.     But I like watching her videos.  She does really great--even minus a hand.   

I found out how menopause is like. Ugh! Omg! That is worse than PMS! GEEZ!!!! 😢😢😢  NO ONE. I MEAN NO ONE will want to be around me!  Selective Mutism and PMS ugh!!!  I was struggling! But menopause and Selective Mutism? Geez sheer hell!!!  No it is better now but not by much! 🌀  Well I'm still struggling with selective mutism and pms at times. 😢

After my workout, I had shoulder tension like you wouldn't believe!!!!  My shoulders were hurting.  I took a shower tried to relax. Nope, still kept hurting.  So I listened to a meditation on shoulder tension.  *Two thumbs up*  My shoulders stopped hurting.  But everytime I notice that my shoulders are up, which is about every 5 minutes.  I look in the mirror and dam if my shoulders are up!  ahhhhhh  Would after meditation help me notice where or what my shoulders are doing?  

Today my friend came, she dripped and she left.  lol!  Well, that was too much information.  LMAO!  Nevermind.  actually she stayed for more than a second. lol Surprised that my friend came to visit me at the end of July2021.  

I am beginning to think that I can't take care of myself and that people have to take care of me for the rest of their life or my life.  :'(  I am feeling helpless right now. :'(  I am back to square one of being angry all the time so I went back to reading the book I read when I was in the hospital when I was or when I think that I was severely depressed.  I feel like it could be the upbringing that I.......................  communication.  The reason why I have anger is because of a lack of communication.  I.......... My words get tangled up in my mouth and the words just won't come out. I guess I have anxiety and that comes out as anger?  Yeah..... okay.   :'(   I am beginning to think that everyone has anxiety and it's not normal to have anger. Yeah, well I lived with Selective Mutism since I was about 4 or 5 and I'm sick of her!!!!  Isn't that enough to express your anger with?           ...

There is hope! But it's in Florida. There is free treatment for adults with Selective Mutism!!!! I have never wanted anything more in my fat 5'3" tall life!!!! I want to get rid of this!!!! I want to be free of this!!! Problem is it's in Florida. grrrr, Who would want to make a special trip to Florida with me to help me break free of this sh**? I'm willing to try anything at this point! I really don't understand it. It says treatment for Adults with Selective Mutism. I'm reading it again. Actually, in the article, they forgot the most important part when they said that Selective Mutism can continue into adulthood. Selective Mutism can also have negative effects like depression and worsened anxiety. https://www.selectivemutismfoundation.org/treatment-options-for-adults-with-selective-mutism

This is a letter to the Seville Apartment Manager who was over there at Seville Apartments in 2012. I will not say anything negative. This is my apology and about Selective Mutism. It was inspired by a Facebook post I wrote. How was it inspired by a Facebook post I wrote? I am not sure. But anyway, I wrote this up even though manager of the apartment complex is not working there anymore. She decided to travel the world. Good for her! She needed it! She deserved it! To Marcy: I'm sorry how I acted over there at Seville Apartments. The other tenants were overwhelming me with anxiety. I was so anxious enough as it is. One old man tried to hit on me over there. I tried to get away and avoid him. I didn't mind if he wanted to be friends but that's all. I was not able to tell him about my Selective Mutism otherwise, I would have told him. If people were to treat me as if I were normal, this is what would happen: I would shut down in all social situations and the ...