My Blog

I often dream of becoming a non-profit actress.  It is like a non-profit organization like selective mutism or autism.  It is a place where you work for no money.  Meaning? I wouldn't want to be a famous actress and I'm not after the money.  I have plenty of money coming to me at the right time and space sequence. I would like to think I'm dreaming of that because I really think that I would be successful at overcoming selective mutism.  And if I am rich and famous in the process of that, I am having a big party because I want to be the center of attention! 

I want people to remember me with all the good things I do.  I want to be remembered for the good deeds that I do like helping other children who also have selective mutism. So what will we do? Sit there and giggle at each other?  No, that is what Jason says that I do.  But really it would depend on if we can speak in that situation.  

Well, I would first own a Chihuahua puppy because I want to raise a puppy. If I can handle Sophie, and her being a medium dog, then I can handle a Chihuahua puppy. I bought a little water gun and said I was going to squirt Sophie with it every time she messes with Nicki Rose or #Happy or Lucky-Love.  Yes, it does work.  Now every time I start to pick up the water gun, Sophie hauls butt!  So funny!!!  Puppies sleep a lot and they get into everything and you can put clothes on her or real baby clothes. Sometimes I go to the baby section and pick out a onesie and just fix it up and cut off the button part of the onesie and put it on her. Chihuahuas don't mind clothes. They love to wear clothes.  The second thing I would own is a TownHouse because I think that yes, we have a yard and someone else would do is the upkeep of the yard.  The third thing I would own is a Yorkshire terrier because they are so cute and you can put little bows in their hair.  ...

On Sunday April 9,  I came upstairs just to get away from everyone and noticed something like everything was swaying back and forth like a cruise ship.  I was like holy shit I'm having an anxiety attack?  Does it feel like I'm being rocked on a cruise ship?  I have been on a cruise twice already and about to go on another if I save money.  This cruise is making me feel really anxious.  It is a lot further down south.   How come I can't sell my jewelry?  Someone on youtube can sell something and she's got selective mutism, autism and ADHD.  I just have a diagnosis of selective mutism and I can't sell shit! Why? because I guess I was taught probably to hide my behaviors.  Here is a video of this SM individual talking about Masking.   https://youtu.be/26lf0Hgosto This is why I believe I have autism.  Selective Mutism in Autism and what helps helps this individual talk when she's nonverbal.  Here is the video:  ...

I found my superpower.  The thing that most people tell me that I can't do because I can't talk.  :'(  Acting, singing and or writing.  You can do this at home can't you Pamela?  ugh!  I meant I want to act out as a selective mute who wants to be an actress and singer.  

First off today is my Nicki Rose 🎂 birthday.  Well it was the day i actually abopted Nicki Rose.   I was listening to meditation music and few images of when I was 2, and one image popped up in my mind and it was Robert Young.  I think I figured out what happened to me when I was 2.   It had something to do with Robert Young. All I remember is that he was yelling at us kids, me Karin and Lisa and his own kids James and Amy.  I believe I caught him yelling at his own wife Becky Young. He was such an ass!!!  Robert Young is dead now.  He's been dead for a couple of centuries.  Plus the dog bite trauma---it just added on to it.  The accident in June 1992---it added to that.  

Write about the words you use when you speak. Are they, gentle? Commanding? Life-giving? Stinging? Timid? Compassionate? Give real-life examples to support your many examples. When I speak, I sound naive and gullible. I don't know what it is but to me I sound really naive and gullible.