My Blog

It's hard to say but Someone named Baxter Jimmy on Facebook messaged me on Facebook and wanted me for me.  Yeah, I guess some guys like BIG WOMEN.  Yes, I guess I can understand that.  But I would like to know why?  Yes I want to lose weight but I always want just little meat on my bones. I don't to be too skinny.  Okay, I will write more later... 

Okay, One woke up and my neck was sore and my arm was sore.  But my arm is sore because I do a little punch, punch kick move.  Why I think that my arm is hurting is because probably I was thinking about Jason and pretening that my fist is where his head is and I um... injured my arm when I was doing that little punch, punch kick move.  This is probably why exercise relieves stress and anxiety, in turn this is why I love to exercise and I end up doing to much exercise.  Yeah.   I'm still writing my thoughts down here.  

I want this to be my goal.   Today.... I was thinking about what it would be like to think good thoughts.  Like what if I thought this for one year.   "What you think becomes your reality".   Oh by-the-way, that is my page "I Am Affirmations".  It has this picture below as the profile picture.    

How come someone asks me how old I am when I ask if there is parental supervisor at someone else's house or apartment?  Am I behind the Decade or something? Or is it just because I have Selective mutism?  Ahhh what's wrong with needing parental supervision when you have Selective mutism, right?  It's too bad people think that other people are a scam. Then telling me that people I talk to online are a scam because I have been scammed before when people ask for money from me. But if he asks for money I'm gone! How long would I wait to meet someone in person?  I would wait as long as it takes for him to make up his mind what he wants.   One of my friends on Facebook is also my secret crush.    He's been my secret crush for 10 years.  It's too late to tell him now that he's married to someone in Arizona named Jennifer.  Besides I don't want to hurt her feelings by telling aj about him that I have a secret crush on him for 10. Well it's too l...

I get a Valentine's day present to myself and my reward for myself for asking for things on the top shelf at Walmart and saying thank you afterwards.  But I still have my Easter present for myself in April.  Easter will be on April 9th. The day I adopted Nicki Rose.  Since I don't know when Nicki was actually born.... I will just say on the day I adopted her which was April 9th is her birthday.  Well she is probably two years old now....more or less.   I am still writing..... 

This is my second attempt at reforming my goals.  One simple goal could be walking to the park with NickiRose for a week or drinking more water or staying motivated to save money for at least until October 2023.  Can I do it?  It means staying home or walking to the park with NickiRose.   These goals are much better than my first goals page where they would seem to cost me money.  

When I meditated this after noon, I listened a meditation for neck and shoulders by Bob Stahl. (who is Bob Stahl anyway) Do you know what meditation teacher he is or if he is a good meditation teacher?  Well anyway, I fell asleep as usual and when I did that, I dreamed that I was flying and I flew into a great big ball of fire.  Then I saw a big boat a cargo full of stuff to send to grocery stores. omg... that was a huge sucker!!!  Then I woke from my meditation. I could not sleep at all that night for two weeks due to my neck and shoulders were hurting so bad. I don't know what is causing it. Jason says it is my mattress and I say it's my pillow.  Who is right?   Well my friend came to visit me this month for a week tonight.  She brought me gas and I was pms-ing for week before that she made me eat chocolate because it made me feel better after that.